Welcome to the City

[Rebirth]

I know that the top 3 topics are mine, I promise this is the last one. I had mentioned earlier that I like to write and in fact hope to publish eventually. In light of that, I would love it if you guys would be kind enough to read the beginning of my novel. It's a little different than you would expect, as it is going to be a collection of sudden fiction pieces woven together in a film-noir setting akin to Sin City. I promise it's good and reads well.

If anyone is interested just post a reply saying so and I'll post the first part of the story.

Any comments, criticisms, praise (:P) are more than welcome and definetely appreciated.

-Rebirth

[Ziilyn]

I'm always interested in a good story!

Post it!

[Inquisitor]

I'll read it.

[Drirlake]

I would also love to read it.

[ScytheRexx]

Ya, post it!

[Wulfang]

I'm always interested in reading a good story.

Post it!

[Rebirth]

Welcome to the City

Blue Loves Scarlet, Scarlet Loves Blue

The night was fresh, the moon was gorgeous, and the music was swingin’. Azure feather in his hat, Johnny Blue cracked a half-smile as his fingers danced on keys of black and white. Like a man on speed and graced by God, Johnny played with his soul but his eyes burned like the devil. His hands, a furious and chaotic duel of show and skill, flew up and down and up and down the keys as they played the intangible pages of music his heart wrote as it beat.

And like a bad Hollywood movie, Claire Scarlet sat in the middle of the room, all lights on her. She was the portrait of perfection with a perfect rose that matched her crimson dress placed perfectly in her styled, blonde hair. Her full red lips seemed as if painted on her rosy face and positioned under sapphire gems. Children lost their breath, women thought of killing her, and men, men fought each other like school boys just so they could look at her. She truly was beautiful. She was perfect.

Like all bad Hollywood movies there was a mobster. A man so powerful he ruled the town. And like all bad Hollywood movies he was Claire Scarlet’s man. Not by choice, not by love, but by what they call “influence.” From the first day he saw her, Tony Black he knew he wanted her bad, real bad. In the backroom of The Cotton Club he sat, a happy fat man with power. He could do whatever he wanted, when he wanted. He could get a man killed. He could get a woman. He had gotten a man and woman killed. Tony Black could do anything. And at this moment he was recounting the story of how he enslaved the beauty that was Claire Scarlet.

“It was a cold November night and she walked into my place. Shaking and coughing, she nearly passed out on my floor. I ordered my boys to throw her out because we don’t serve dogs here, but my pianist ran from his instrument to help her. So I thought to myself, ‘This girl must be something special, Johnny Blue left his piano for her. He never leaves his piano.’ So I ordered the help to sit her down and make her comfortable.”

Like the approval-needing, belligerent, mama’s boy he was, Tony Black waited for his company to nod their heads and think of him as some holy saint for having pity for this girl. In reality his guests knew that all Tony Black really was, was an opportunistic bastard who had stabbed his best friend in the back to make more room for his fat ass. He stabbed more than just his best friend and sometimes it was just for fun. But that’s how you get influence in the City, you kill people or you have them killed. It’s a dog eat dog world and Tony Black was a rabid, Nazi trained German shepard, that’s why he had Claire Scarlet to call his own and guests sat at his table. Nobody had a choice.

Feeling he had given them enough time to dote on his mercy, fat man Tony Black continued. “After my help cleaned her up I sat down and talked to the ragged thing. And my, my, my, was my intuition right! This girl wasn’t just special, she was gorgeous! She was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. I knew right then that I had to have her. I sent my help to get her fed, beautified, shopped for, and when it was all over, delivered to my private room.” He winked at his company and they tried to hide their disgust with raunchy comments and crude gestures and they must have done a good job because the fat man smiled still and talked on. “Now, now boys, I never said anything about that. But then I don’t have to, now do I?” He waited for a second and then let out a disturbingly deep chuckle that made the room even more uncomfortable. It took a couple moments but his boys laughed with him because they had to.

Outside of the back room the club was hoppin’. Drinks and women were everywhere. The expensive liquor downed like so many notes in the song that the women gave their bodies to. Johnny Blue’s eyes caught Claire Scarlet’s and never let go. His half-smile found its other half and couldn’t have been happier. The music took a turn for the fastest and everyone kept pace. Round and round, up and down, the clubbers were having a ball. And all the while Johnny Blue never looked away from Ms. Scarlet and Ms. Scarlet never looked away from Mr. Blue.

From the moment they’d met sparks had flown between them. Sparks so bright they burned like the passionate memories they hid from the world. Behind the scenes of Tony Black’s horrible charade, Johnny Blue and Claire Scarlet lived in high secret. By order and “right” she was Tony Black’s bitch but by love and life she was Johnny Blue’s woman. Even with all of the fat man’s power plays and nasty violent tendencies they risked it all for the fantasy; they risked it all for the dream.

Claire Scarlet loved Johnny Blue with all her heart and he loved her with all of his. It was a story for the ages that no one knew. The lies, the secrets, the feelings, they were all a part of a twisted tale with many titles. The Pianist and the Beauty. The Beauty and the Beast. The Pianist and the Beast. They all worked well. It was almost Shakespearean, you know? With all the secret rendezvous, smoldering bed room moments, double meanings and deep relationships, it was an intricate story of the utmost drama with all the pitfalls and pain and longing of an epic. And the regret. Oh the regret.

Tony Black made Claire Scarlet do things that dogs wouldn’t do. And none of these things should ever be repeated, not even in words. How Claire Scarlet loathed the man that owned her and all the games and hoops he threw her through. It brought tears to her soul and scarred her heart. But none of that mattered when Johnny Blue, her one true love, held her close and gave her that safe feeling she felt no where else.

Calvin and Fred Grey, brothers, twins, and underlings of Tony Black stood at the door way to the back room of the Cotton Club. In all their years they worked in this hip hang out they never noticed just how Claire Scarlet and Johnny Blue looked at each other. Dumb and stupid they never saw the love they shared and how Johnny Blue played every note of every song for the woman of his dreams. It took the both of them all this time to put it together. Like a slap across their faces their eyes grew wide when they saw Johnny Blue wink and kiss the air, his eyes never leavin’ the Cotton Club’s resident goddess.

Stupid people think alike, especially when they’re twins. Like mirror images they turned towards each other with the same expression of incredulity. How had they not noticed this before? And what were they going to do? They had to tell Tony Black what they thought was going on, even though they could never truly understand what it was. What they thought was a just an orgasm with a pretty lady was really true love, that lost romantic dream of the world. Sure, Tony Black threw them a hooker here and there but they weren’t as pretty as Ms. Scarlet. Jealous and attached at the hip, Calvin and Fred Grey walked into the back room because they wanted Mr. Black to know.

“Mr. Black we need to talk to you.” They said in the same unified monotone.

Tony Black looked at his hired brutes and told them to wait a hot minute; he had a story to finish. “Yea boys, she’s a wild one. You should see what I can make her do and how she hates it. I get off on that. And you know what makes it better? She can’t do a damned thing about it. I’m the one who put that pretty dress on her smokin’ figure and I’m the one who gave her the meat for that figure.” Tony took a deep puff of his Cuban cigar and let the smoke roil from his thick, large lips. “I made her. She owes me. That bitch loves me. I made her love me. She’s my slave.”

Done with his story, Mr. Black looked over at the waiting twins, the twisted smile on his face the product of some sick memory of some horrible thing he did to poor Claire Scarlet. Turning back to his audience he put his obscenely large and fat padded hands out, “Well, boys I’ll tell ya more another time. Looks like these kids got something mighty important to tell me, so ya’ll gotta go.”

The room emptied in a quick moment because no one wanted to be there, especially if Tony Black told them to leave. From the corner of the room Calvin and Fred Grey stepped forward and began to tell their boss in alternating sentences what they needed to say.

“Mr. Black, sir, we think there’s somethin’ wrong goin’ on. Somethin’ hidden.”

Tony Black looked confused, there was always something hidden and wrong going on in the City. That’s what the City was, wrong and hidden.

“What is it boys? What’s got your dull witted brains firin’ up?”

“We think there’s somethin’ goin’ on between Johnny and Claire. We think they’re in love.”

The fat man paused a moment, not knowing how to take this observation and then laughed at it. “You must be jokin, I always thought you kids had a bad sense of humor. Don’t jest about ma’ Claire.”

“We’re not kidding Mr. Black, sir. Take a look for yourself and see how they just gaze at each other. The piano man’s eyes never leave your lady, even when he breaks it down hard.”

Sudden rage overtook the obese bastard, his eyes widened and a python-sized vein slithered onto to Tony Black’s obscenely large forehead. “Don’t you fuck with me boys! Don’t lie! I don’t like it when people lie to me!” Calvin and Fred Grey shrank down and became midgets who could only shake their heads and pray to God to protect them from Tony Black. “You liars! You fuckin’ liars! How dare you say that! That bitch loves me! That man owes me!” He took a deep breath and filled his giant tar-stained lungs, “THOSE FUCKERS BETAYED ME!!”

The fat man paced, burning more calories than he had in years, as he thought and thought. A couple minutes later a wicked evil grin crept onto to his wide triple chinned face. “I got it” he said in his sinister way, “I got it.”

He beckoned his hired fools closer and whispered his plan. Nodding like idiots the delinquent twins smiled stupidly as the fat man laughed inside. Johnny Blue was gonna pay and he was gonna pay hard.

Dumb little bastards that they were, Calvin and Fred Grey could follow instructions pretty well. Right to the bar tender they went and repeated their orders. Davey Green nodded and went to work. From the locked cabinet, the 56 year old man retrieved a black bottle marked “X” and a small corked vial with a skull and bones for a label. A sad look on his face showed Calvin and Fred Gray that Davey Green knew exactly what he was doing. A deep and rich stream of amber rum poured out of the black bottle, its contents perfectly aged and ancient, into a special double shot glass. The color of deep sapphire and Johnny Blue’s eyes, the piece was beautiful, the favorite of Davey Green’s extensive collection.

The bartender liked Johnny Blue very much and that was why he poured him the extraordinary rum, an old memento from another life, into the glass he himself drank from. Before he sent the talented musician this special drink, Davey Green uncorked the small vial and added the final bit. A single drop of clear liquid that didn’t even have an aroma mixed with the deliciously scented rum. Satisfied, Calvin and Fred Gray returned to their regular spots and waited for the event to unfold.

Mary Lavender took that double shot of rum with a little somethin’ extra in it to the pianist. “Mr. Black wanted to thank you for such a grand performance tonight with this.” She smiled sweet and innocently as she placed the pretty glass on his instrument, his second heart. Johnny Blue nodded his thanks and kept on playing, the notes from the piano like the beat in his chest, constant and perfect.

Playing the keys with one hand, Johnny Blue picked up the glass that matched his eyes and smelled that sweet, sweet rum. Bowing his head first to Mr. Black, who had come out of the back room, for the compliment and then to Davey Green in thanks for such a fine hard liquor and such a pretty thing to drink it from, Johnny swallowed the dark concoction like liquid candy.

When the alcohol hit his stomach, Johnny knew there was somethin’ wrong with it, but he just kept playin’ on because that’s what he always does. Playing is all Johnny Blue knew how to do.

The minutes passed by when suddenly Mr. Black’s compliment started workin’ like it should. Johnny Blue was sweatin’ furiously bad and his hands started to shake, but he never took his eyes off of Claire Scarlet.

Tony Black sat at his personal table in his extra large booth with a fiendish and sinful grin. He loved to watch people suffer. One time he killed a man by cutting off his fingers, then his hands, and then his arms just to watch him bleed to death, but this time it was so much more enjoyable. It was orgasmic to the sick bastard because he knew he was doing something so wrong by killing a man in love. The mere thoughts of the beautiful suffering he was causing the world even overshadowed his outrage of their affair.

Standing on either side of their boss, Calvin and Fred Grey smiled the same, just a tad stupider. They looked from the dying pianist to their Tony Black as it seemed he wanted to tell them something. “I love this. I love this night. When he’s dead throw him outside.” The dumb and dumber twins nodded and turned back to the show.

Johnny Blue’s eyes burned bright like supernovas as he played his magnum opus, his magnificent requiem. His hands played notes that separately did nothing, but together, wrenched the souls from everyone in the room. Silent, everyone cried and everyone felt everything all at once. Every feeling, every emotion Johnny Blue had felt since he met Claire Scarlet poured through his fingers and onto the piano as a hurricane on the coast.

It was beyond beautiful, it was beyond frightening. This music, this improvisation of the human soul was unstoppable. The love, the battle, all of it was evident as Johnny’s anger played the minor chords, his pain played the disdained, his love played the major, and his sweat and tears wet the keys. And as the movement hit it’s climax, Johnny Blue looked out at Claire Scarlet one more time. Her sapphire eyes ran rives of mascara as she saw her lover play out his very heart and every bit of his soul. The poison was moments away from killing Johnny Blue and that realization, that cold feeling of death manifested itself in one chord and channeled what was left through his eyes.

Time stopped for Johnny Blue and Claire Scarlet. True love never dies and their souls so different, so similar, and so impassioned by one another embraced each other in a way only told in fantasy. Their very spirits, their human essence, held each other with such feeling that Heaven itself held not a candle to this paradise. They would be together forever and no mortal coil could stop them.

And as Johnny Blue fell to the ground, Claire Scarlet followed.

[Wulfang]

Wow Rebirth, that was amazing! You really are a great writer. It was a very interesting story and I liked to see the events unfold. While it borrows ideas from already existing works ("bad Hollywood movies", as you put it yourself), it's still a good read and has left me wanting to know how the rest of the story progressed. You should post more bits of this story, as now I really want to know what will happen next!

Also, the idea of giving every character a different color as their surname was great!

[Creative]

Mwehehehehe, now I am gonna take that story and make MILLIONS!

Oh, just kidding.

Good story, by the way :)

[Rebirth]

Mwehehehehe, now I am gonna take that story and make MILLIONS!

Oh, just kidding.

Good story, by the way :)


Haha. Thanks for reading! Hopefully I will make millions... that'd be awesome!

Anyone else? =P

[Inquisitor]

Your writing style struck me as sort of over-the-top, and it made it difficult to get into. The plot itself isn't so bad, however, and I thought it was fairly interesting.

[Rebirth]

Your writing style struck me as sort of over-the-top, and it made it difficult to get into. The plot itself isn't so bad, however, and I thought it was fairly interesting.

It's supposed to be an over-the-top Sin City-esque type story, filled with larger than life characters, emotions, etc.

[Inquisitor]

It's supposed to be an over-the-top Sin City-esque type story, filled with larger than life characters, emotions, etc.

Understood. A good concept doesn't always work out as planned.

[Rebirth]

Understood. A good concept doesn't always work out as planned.

Appreciated. You are actually the first person out of many and a professor to say otherwise. But to each his own and thank you for reading. WHen I write more of this I'll post it, but I have a couple others that you may enjoy, that are not so over the top.

[Kerrah]

I'll read it after checking The Forums.

[Rebirth]

The Forums.


Eh, what?

[Kerrah]

Eh, what?
By the time i posted that i meant that after i have read the rest of new posts here.

[Drirlake]

Excellant plot and storyline Rebirth, it was intresting, i would really ove to know what happens next!

But i think its plot somewhat remindes me of Moulin rouge :raisedbro .

[Rebirth]

By the time i posted that i meant that after i have read the rest of new posts here.

Ah, k.

Excellant plot and storyline Rebirth, it was intresting, i would really ove to know what happens next!

But i think its plot somewhat remindes me of Moulin rouge


Thank you. But I actually haven't seen that movie... lol.