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#26
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ukraine, Donetsk
Posts: 4,107
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I was waiting for this so eagerly! Thank you for your work, Andy!
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#27
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#28
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![]() Ranger Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
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If you're wondering, I've been slow getting around to this because real life is getting in the way. Let's just say your parents never like it when you're unemployed.
![]() First, about the picture. I like how you used the hill to hide Kil'Jaeden's missing lower half. I am wondering why he's green. The TFT cutscene had him red and transparent, suggesting he was projecting an image of himself without acutally being present.
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This is a HUGE improvement. At least for this section all that's left is a few finer points. I hope this continues.
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Ah, I wondered where Illidan got his demon hunters from. Still, it doesn't explain where the ones availible as War3 heroes came from. "Months passed?" How long did it take between Hyjal and Maiev's persuit? Since I'm too lazy to look up that first loading screen, we'll say it can be whatever you want. "Search your feelings?" Really?
"Your heart's desire" is a very flexible concept, and one "the Deceiver" would be apt to use. After all, deep down, everyone desires death, right? This keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work!
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"How do you deter and contain monsters? Simple: you use the only languages they understand, force and fear. How do you strike fear into the heart of a monster? Even simpler: create a worse monster and send it after them." |
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#29
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I'm going to make the edits later tonight when I have some free time. I haven't started on the next part yet so it won't be up this weekend. I have been putting some time into the comic, where I've almost completed "Battle of the Dark Portal". I'll get back to this story next week.
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#30
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I just wanted to mention that this story isn't dead. I was sick last week and I had been working hard on the comic a lot also. I am going to complete this and my comic...I am really enjoying it all and I don't like to quit things. I also have a Kael'thas fanfiction I am working on, that also is meant to tie into the comic (but can be read stand-alone as well). Instead of tracing his Frozen Throne steps, the story takes place prior to the third war, at different points all throughout his life...so I have a lot more flexibility with it.
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#31
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ukraine, Donetsk
Posts: 4,107
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Less talky, more story!
Andy, post new chapters, please! |
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#32
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,189
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I'm loving your story(and your comic). Your style is a bit 'fast', as in things are happening a bit too fast but to be honest I rather like it. Too many details and slow progression makes me lose my patience often. Hope to see more soon.
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#33
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The next chapter will be on here by the end of the week if all goes as planned!
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#34
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Here are my excuses for this being late:
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Last edited by AndyJP : 01-17-2012 at 07:24 PM. |
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#35
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![]() Ranger Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
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More trials of everyone's favorite anti-hero! Actually, I'd been wondering if you'd abandoned this project. Good to see you haven't.
I must admit, we have something of an unusual problem here. Gul'dan is speaking as an apparition, a separate entity. He is a 'ghost' that only Illidan can hear. Illidan, on the other hand, is a fully-present being who speaks both literally and mentally. While it would be nice to have a clearer deliniation what is spoken versus what is thought, I'll let it say as it is, if for no other reason than the lack of better options. I like your allusion to the War3 flashback effect. It's subtle enough that only the few will notice. The Naga were already in the Tomb when Gul'dan got there? That's a new one... Keep it in the past! There's a string of present tense around the meeting with Azshara. You've changed some things, I see. No iconic scene of Illidan summoning the Naga from the depths? I suppose that didn't make sense given later developments. There's also the matter of why Vashj's followers would accept being sent in the de facto service of the Legion when they'd just been told they'd be fighting it.
That's all I have time for at the moment, I'm afraid. I got roped into a home improvement project. So many posts lately! Hopefully, I can get through this; eventually. "Everyone's surprise?" Even the renegade Sentinels who've been "outside" all this time?
That was actually quite clever, the way you covered why certain servants don't show up again. Good work.
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"How do you deter and contain monsters? Simple: you use the only languages they understand, force and fear. How do you strike fear into the heart of a monster? Even simpler: create a worse monster and send it after them." Last edited by DarkAngel : 11-18-2011 at 07:32 AM. Reason: Finished second half |
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#36
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Here are my excuses for this being late:
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Last edited by AndyJP : 03-24-2012 at 08:16 PM. |
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#37
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![]() Ranger Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
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So Illidan was killing his students even before he went loopy?
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The newly-minted demon hunters see better under water? For future reference, the ellipsis (...) can be used to end a sentence, but when used inside a sentece, it replaces the space like a dash. Quote:
"Ideally, a leader should be both loved and feared by his people; but since this is not usually possible, it is better to be feared."
Hmmm... I hadn't pictured Vashj as that conniving. It does fit her WotA characterization, though. I understand that working with pre-written lines is difficult, and the taunt session with Maiev is a little stilted. The start is very good, but later lines leave something to be desired. A pattern of "X said Y while Z" gets tedious very quickly and breaks up the tension of the scene. I'd split some of those details into seperate sentences.
Giving Gul'dan's inner thoughts almost feels out of place as such an enigmatic figure. Still, the following cutscene transcription is very well-done.
I like this. It brings back memories. Keep it coming!
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"How do you deter and contain monsters? Simple: you use the only languages they understand, force and fear. How do you strike fear into the heart of a monster? Even simpler: create a worse monster and send it after them." |
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#38
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Eversong Woods
Posts: 4,291
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Awesome stuff, keep at it!
I might add a bit more meaningful response at a later date, but I just want to congratulate you on a great fic for now.
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![]() Trolls are just cooler. |
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#39
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This one is late too, but the next one won't be as I already have all the dialogue written. It was originally supposed to go all the way to Illidan's exit from the Echo Isles after Furion and Tyrande show up to save Maiev, but I decided to cut it into two, possibly three parts.
I've not really flat out said it in the story, but I hope the evidence has been clear enough that Illidan has been unstable all along. He endured 10,000 years of isolation, and I can only speculate what kind of damage that would do to somebody's psyche! He's still a capable warrior, and there is still the presence of the person Illidan used to be, but the imprisonment has caused a lot of irreparable mental and emotional damage. He is socially impaired, having no one but himself to speak with for a hundred centuries. He still spends most of his time inside of his own head, as he did while locked away. Gul'dan has passed himself off as a kind of kindred spirit, convincing Illidan that they are one in the same, but of course, this is far from the truth. The demon hunters are of course aware on some level that he is not in his right mind, but have seen both the sacrifices he has made and that he has the power to get the job done, and they still believe in him. Vashj and her Naga, however, are oblivious to Illidan's life post-WOTA. Quote:
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#40
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![]() Banished Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: In the corner of your mind
Posts: 4,994
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"They will find a reason."
I like it. |
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#41
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![]() Ranger Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
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Still working on this? You had me thinking you'd given up! Good, good.
Is 'warden' a proper noun or not? Also, wasn't Maiev's organization called the Watchers? Actually, I like your version better...
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![]() "You know it to be true?" A dangerous phrase to use... Generally, speaking of a queen generically would be a common noun, but I gave Vashj a pass because Azshara is such a god-like figure. Still, make sure she does it consisently.
Well, that was much shorter than you usually make it. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work!
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"How do you deter and contain monsters? Simple: you use the only languages they understand, force and fear. How do you strike fear into the heart of a monster? Even simpler: create a worse monster and send it after them." |
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#42
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ukraine, Donetsk
Posts: 4,107
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Andy, I want more chapters!
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#43
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I know, I know.
I have nearly all of the dialogue for the next chapter written, but I was really lagging in the comic and that takes priority over this since I keep a regular schedule with that. So I haven't abandoned it, and it won't take me very long to complete the chapter when I get to it... which will be whenever I get a comfortable lead on the comic again.
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#44
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![]() Critter Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
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I am happy to be reading this, this gives me a back story to the game. Especially helpful when playing wow. never really knew the story, this I could get into. I need more!
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#45
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,189
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I wish you'd regain your spark and continue this and your webcomic. Hope you will someday.
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#46
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Sweden!
Posts: 3,838
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I loved reading this and hope that you will complete it some day!
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#47
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![]() Druid of the Claw Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: East Lansing, MI
Posts: 118
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Same.
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#48
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As it is right now, I don't have an inkling of interest in warcraft anymore. I regret not finishing these, but it was getting harder and harder to work on them because of that. Maybe I just need a break, I'm not sure. I can't say that I won't ever come back to them.
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#49
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Posts: n/a
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I also lost interest of WC but some of the characters are still cool. |
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#50
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![]() Eternal Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ukraine, Donetsk
Posts: 4,107
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