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Old 08-07-2011, 06:52 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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Tome of Knowledge Legacy of Alterac: Aliden Perenolde

So bascially, I decided to create a story surrounding Alterac from the point of view of the Perenoldes. I plan to create one for Aliden, Isiden, and Beve. I decided to start off with Aliden given that he is the one with the most solid lore and actually appears in-game.

I am going to post chapter by chapter and it may not be able to regularly post because of my schedule. If you find something within the story which contradicts mainstream lore, then please tell me. Please post your comments as well.
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Old 08-07-2011, 06:53 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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Tome of Knowledge I: On National Pride

A strong blizzard swept across Alterac Mountains, carrying with it bone chilling winds and a heavy blanket of snow. In Alterac City, citizens sought refuge within their homes. Most had already gotten themselves comfy inside their houses while some were still left outside struggling to get firewood into their houses.

Within the castle, the inhabitants were already settled down waiting for the blizzard to pass. Most of them had already fallen asleep and thus there was dead silence. However, there was still one chamber where two young men were far from asleep. They were Aliden Perenolde, crown prince of Alterac, and his friend, Cedric Falconcrest IV.

“Don’t be so down now. There are many women around,” said Aliden.

Cedric did not respond and instead took a heavy gulp from his cup of wine.

“Come on. You’re Cedric Falconcrest IV. A lot of women are eager to be courted by a noble such as you,” said Aliden.

Cedric finally responded: “Well, that’s easy for you to say. You ARE the prince... and THE future king of this kingdom. As for me, I’m just another noble among many.”

Aliden paused for a while and said: “Well, how about... I pair you up with my sister, Beve?”

Cedric also paused for a while and said: “I don’t know. I wouldn’t want a wife who could turn me into a frog if she gets angry.”

Cedric smiled and finally laughed a little. Aliden, happy given that he has somehow managed to lighten up his friend, joined his friend in laughter.

Aliden added: “My dear Beve... she’s been studying magic quite a long time in Lordaeron. Getting turned into a frog is the least of your worries.”

They laughed some more. However, seriousness returned to Cedric’s face, and Aliden was quick to notice it.

“Something else is bothering you and I know it. Aren’t you going to tell your friend about it?” asked Aliden.

Cedric took another sip of his drink and then let out a heavy sigh. He finally said: “Well you see... there was this other guy.”

“Elena left you for another guy? Well, no wonder you’re so gloomy. And just who might be so foolish enough to take your woman away from you?” asked Aliden.

“If you’re thinking you could pull some strings, think again. He is not of Alterac,” said Cedric.

“I still want to know who he is and from what kingdom he belongs,” said Aliden.

“He’s some guy named Weldon Barov,” said Cedric.

Aliden also knew him. He was the oldest son of the Barov family. They were a powerful family within Lordaeron and resided in the island town of Caer Darrow which is nearby Alterac.

“Well, I guess he is that big,” said Aliden who also laughs a little bit.

“It’s not just that,” says Cedric.

“What is really troubling you then?” asked Aliden.

Cedric tightened his grip on his empty cup, stood up, and shouted: “Elena told me that she’d be better off with a noble from Lordaeron than with a noble from Alterac... that the sooner she goes to Lordaeron the better,” Cedric fell back to his sit afterwards.

Aliden also felt the sting of Elena’s words as stated by Cedric. He angrily said to Cedric: “To hell with her. You’re better off without her... that ungrateful wench.”

Even as he said this, he couldn’t help but feel that there was some truth in her words. He was the prince after all and he knew better about the distribution of power within the region. Lordaeron was the largest of the largest of the kingdoms. Stromgarde possessed a formidable army. Gilneas had advanced technology independent from that of the dwarves or that of the gnomes. Kul’Tiras effectively controled the seas. Dalaran possessed formidable spellcasters. As for Alterac, Aliden couldn’t think of anything to be proud of.

While Aliden was lost in thought, Cedric also recalled an event concerning national pride and relayed it to Aliden: “Just the other day, I passed by a group of children who were pretending to wage war against one another. Some of the children fought over who gets to be the kings.”

At that time, Aliden turned his attention to Cedric to listen more closely. Cedric continued: “They would fight over who gets to be King Llane, who gets to be King Terenas, and so on... And do you know what? Your father gets picked last... and the kid who ended up pretending to be your father spurned the idea.”

Aliden felt somewhat insulted and sat down getting lost in thought again. Meanwhile, Cedric added: “It is one thing to think low of another country... but it is another thing to think low of your own country.”

“I’ll think of something. I promise,” said Aliden in a humbled voice.

“I’ll bet my family fortune that that is what your ancestors have been saying all the time,” retorted Cedric.

Aliden stood up and walked around lost in thought again. Cedric became ever more impatient and said: “Well?”

Aliden came up with a well-thought answer: “Things change... eventually. Take Strom for example, it was once the center of humanity and yet now, Lordaeron and Stormwind have already surpassed it.”

Cedric responded: “Don’t lecture me with history. What I want to know is just how you are going to make Alterac the next Lordaeron or Stormwind for that matter?"

Aliden said: “I’ll think of something. You’ll see. Besides, with you as my right hand man, things will be much easier.”

Cedric let out a long sigh and said: “Well, it’s late and I’m tired. I am going to go back to my room now.” With that, Cedric pushed his cup away, stood up, and went towards the exit.

Cedric said: “Good night, my prince. Sleep well.”

Aliden responded: “You too, Cedric.”

As Cedric walked out of the chamber, Aliden can’t help but feel thankful to have a friend such as Cedric. However, he knew that he and Cedric alone could not change the ways thing are. Feeling too tired already, he shrugged off the thought and retired as well.
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Old 08-07-2011, 02:17 PM
Immion Immion is offline

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Technically, since the RPG is no longer considered canon, Beve herself is no longer "main-stream" lore. I don't think she was mentioned anywhere else.

However, if you still want to use the info from the P&P (which I personally would like very much), I have another point:

Quote:
Though noble born, Falconcrest was but a boy when his family was
deposed. Thus, he is more familiar with the ways of a bandit than a courtier.
[...]
Falconcrest is younger than Perenolde, in his thirties, and is prepared to bide
his time until he is ready. Falconcrest often dresses as a bandit, but his noble bearing betrays his origins.
So, if Cedric was meant to be that Falconcrest you would have to chance some things. Again, only if you want to use the RPG info.

But overall I really like your idea. I think we know far too few things about the "internal affairs" of the nations during the second war.

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Old 08-07-2011, 10:14 PM
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Will this be based on your idea for Alterac? I thought that was a very interesting idea that would make for a good story. This story is very thin in that it is mostly all dialogue, but if that is how you prefer to write then by all means continue. I will keep following this story!
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Old 08-08-2011, 08:07 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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@Immion: I am going to use Beve. In fact, I plan her to be some sort of a bitter ferminist type. In my story, there is a huge age gap between her and Aliden and before Aliden was born, her father indulged her with the idea that she would become queen. The rest would be featured in her own story. As for Cedric Falconcrest IV, I guess I'll make the necessary changes: his son is the one who appears in WOW.

@AndyJP: The story is going to be based on my Alterac Idea under the World of Warcraft Discussion. As for the first chapter, it was pure dialogue because I want to show how the characters think.

Thank you for your comments. By the way, this chapter is way before the First War.
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Old 08-08-2011, 10:04 AM
xie323 xie323 is offline

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You could try adding some ideas from the Great War, with Xie and the Chancellors and all that.
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Old 08-08-2011, 08:25 PM
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Wow. New people are popping up all over the place! To reiterate my usual disclaimer, my comments are suggestions only, and should in no way be considered a personal attack. You are free to decline my suggestions at any time.

Being that you list your location as the Philippines, it's highly unlikely English was your first language. I know next to nothing about Tagalog, but I do know a thing or two about Spanish. Most obvious note first: in both English and Spanish, stories are traditionally written in the past tense. This seems to be a recurring theme in the stories posted by novice English-speakers. My beginning Spanish courses focused exclusively on el presente, so maybe it has something to do with that.

Second, dialogue quotations are considered part of the action sentence, so the final period is replaced by a comma. For example,
Quote:
“Don’t be so down now. There are many women around.” says Aliden.
becomes
Quote:
“Don’t be so down now. There are many women around,” says Aliden.
Question marks and exclaimation points remain unchanged, however. Remember the cardinal rule of English: every rule must have an exception.

A few other notes:
  • If Aliden and Cedric are old enough to be looking at women, they probably don't qualify as 'lads' anymore. I'd say that makes them 'young men.'
  • Compound sentences (Example: "However, seriousness returns to Cedric’s face, and Aliden is quick to notice it.") need a comma between the clauses.
  • Over all, I liked it. Your grasp of characterization is good; same with pacing. Just remember that we don't truely see what someone is made of until obsticles are thrown in their path. I look forward to more.

As a side note, Alterac does have one thing going for it. On the surface, it doesn't make sense that a nation so small and weak has remained independent of its far more powerful neighbors. To me, the explaination can be summed up in one word: Switzerland. Why has Switzerland never been successfully invaded? It is ringed by mountains, accessable only through a few narrow mountain passes. Any Protoss can tell you the strategic value of chokepoints.
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Old 08-09-2011, 04:13 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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@Xie323: There will be war. Kings Aiden and Thoras were said to be rivals even before they joined up with the Alliance.

@DarkAngel: Thank you for the english lesson. It is my first time to write such a story. I have corrected that first chapter as you said.
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Old 08-10-2011, 09:54 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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Map

So before I proceed, I would like to show the political boundaries of the Human Kingdoms at that time (see attachment below).

I would like you to take note of Alterac's boundaries. It is accepted that Alterac mountains belonged to the Alterac Kingdom. However, if their territory is restricted to that region only based on the WOW map, then they would not share any common boundary with Stromgarde. It is mentioned in "Tides of Darkness" that these two kingdoms were neighbors and had territorial disputes. So in order to rectify this, I decided to give Alterac the land between Thoradin's Wall and the river in the Hillbrads Foothills region. This would be the portion of land that Thoras wanted to acquire after the Second War. Because of its location, Tarren Mill is going to be a former town of Alterac.
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Old 08-11-2011, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ujimasa Hojo View Post
So before I proceed, I would like to show the political boundaries of the Human Kingdoms at that time (see attachment below).

I would like you to take note of Alterac's boundaries. It is accepted that Alterac mountains belonged to the Alterac Kingdom. However, if their territory is restricted to that region only based on the WOW map, then they would not share any common boundary with Stromgarde. It is mentioned in "Tides of Darkness" that these two kingdoms were neighbors and had territorial disputes. So in order to rectify this, I decided to give Alterac the land between Thoradin's Wall and the river in the Hillbrads Foothills region. This would be the portion of land that Thoras wanted to acquire after the Second War. Because of its location, Tarren Mill is going to be a former town of Alterac.
Works for me. Somehow, I keep imagining that Lordaeron must have aquiered the Southshore "island" in a war involving Lordaeron, Dalaran, Gilneas, Alterac, and Stromgarde.
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Old 08-12-2011, 11:46 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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Tome of Knowledge II: A Kingdom in Crisis

The blizzard has finally subsided. After preparing to go out in public, Aliden and Cedric ventured forth from the castle.

"Finally... we've been cooped up for so long inside the castle. That damn blizzard lasted for almost a week," said Cedric.

"Don't get comfortable too soon. We have yet to know the extent of damage the blizzard has caused," Aliden reminded him.

Both men inspected their vicinity. They noticed that some of the houses had been damaged, but such damages seemed minor.

"I hope everyone is alright," said Aliden.

As they strolled across the streets inspecting the city along the way, they came across a patrolling officer.

"Excuse me, my fine officer. Had there been reports of any casualties? Was anyone badly injured? What is the status of the general population?" asked Aliden.

The officer replied: "Early this morning, the other officers and I have already taken account of everyone within the city. Everyone turned out to be safe and sound, Your Highness."

"What about the countryside?" asked Cedric.

The officer replied: "There hasn't been any official statement about that matter, my lord. From what I heard, however, everyone in the countryside is also alright."

Satisfied with the officer's answers, the two men dismissed him.

"I guess everything is fine then?" asked Cedric.

Just then, another officer mounted on a horse sped across the streets towards the direction of the castle.

"It looks urgent," said Aliden.

"I wonder what it could be about now?" asked Cedric who was already annoyed that they still have to deal with problems left by the blizzard.

"I guess we'll find out," said Aliden.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, Aliden and Cedric entered the council chamber where high ranking members of the Alterac government were alreadying discussing with the nobles of various lands throughout their kingdom. Without even knowing what the problem was, they already knew that it was something really big, given the presence of several dignitaries. There was Baron Theodore Vardus, lord of Strahnbrad; Baron Valimar Perenolde, lord of the settlements near the Misty Shore and distant relative of the royal family; Lord Jorach Ravenholdt, lord of Ravenholdt Manor; and Baron Cedric Falconcrest III, father of Aliden's friend and lord of Tarren Mill. Among them were several other minor nobles.

After inspecting those who were present, both men took their seats along the periphery. Aliden conveniently sat beside his uncle, Brayden Perenolde, and asked him what was going on.

Brayden replied: "It would seem that that blasted blizzard has left us in quite a predicament, my boy. Our crops in the Uplands have been frozen solid and can no longer do us any good. Majority of the farm animals also did not withstand the cold."

"Damn it! We risk having to put up with a famine," said Aliden.

"I guess we should have had casualties then. There would have been less mouths to worry about," snided Cedric.

"Now is not the time for sarcastic comments," said Aliden.

Aliden looked towards his father, King Aiden Perenolde. The king had a troubled look on his face as he sought counsel from his advisers. The others who were present also had their own small group discussions. Aliden could hear them arguing and shouting at each other.

One of the nobles yelled out loud: "We should gather everything we can from our farmlands at Eastpoint and stockpile them within the city immediately."

Another noble from across the room angrily replied: "Are you mad? Do you want another rebellion in the countryside?"

At that point, Aliden noticed the frustration buidling up in Cedric. This made Aliden recall the recent history of the their kingdom. The western portion of the Hillsbrad Foothills once belonged to their kingdom and the Falconcrest family, under Cedric II, also held Southshore in addition to Tarren Mill. Unfortunately, the people there felt that they were being neglected by Alterac City. A bloody rebellion occured and Alterac lost control over the region. Cedric II died trying to defend their holdings there while the rest of the family fled towards their other holdings. Aliden deduced that his friend had also been reminded of the grim history, and that this was what frustrated him. Aliden knew then that they would have to treat everyone across the entire kingdom equally unless they want history to repeat itself.

Baron Valimar then said to everyone: "We should divide whatever we have accordingly to our subjects. Everyone should get their fair share."

Some of the nobles backed Valimar.

"So you want everyone to starve, including ourselves," sneered a noble.

Other nobles also gave their sentiments against Valimar.

"I simply want everyone to make necessary sacrifices... and maybe cut down a little bit," replied Valimar who rubbed his belly in the latter part of his reply as if to point out the protruding bellies of the nobles from the opposing party.

The two sides then continued to argue.

Baron Cedric III stood out of the crowd and gave his sentiment: "I have already done the inventory on what we have left. It's just not enough even if we divide it equally amongst ourselves. Everyone would have to settle for one meal a day until next year's harvest."

The nobles continued to argue. Aliden then noticed his uncle stand up and make his way to the center of the room. King Aiden also noticed his brother and knew it was best to let him speak. He ordered silence to everyone and gave his brother the floor.

"Gentlemen, why can we not just buy from our neighboring kingdom, Lordaeron? I am sure I could request King Terenas to sell us food at a lower price," said Brayden.

Brayden's suggestion stirred up the room. Aliden noticed disdain among some of the nobles, including Cedric III. Aliden also saw his friend, Cedric IV, storm out of the room. Aliden himself thought the idea was a good one, but he knew that some of the nobles are still bitter at Lordaeron. When western Hillsbrad declared independence, his grandfather assembled an army to regain control of the region. Before his plan came into fruition however, the leaders of the rebellion in western Hillsbrad had sworn allegiance to Lordaeron. Troops from Lordaeron had already settled in the region. Not willing to go against the bigger kingdom, his grandfather disbanded the army and was forced to accept the fait accompli of Lordaeron's newly established reign over western Hillsbrad. In order to prevent any future hostilities, the kings of the two kingdoms arranged a marriage between Brayden from the house of Perenolde and a lady from the house of Menethil. Thus, Brayden's wife happened to be the cousin of Lordaeron's current ruler, King Terenas Menethil II. Given his uncle's relation to the ruling house of Lordaeron, Aliden thought that King Terenas would take pity on their kingdom's plight and give in to their request. The only problem was how to handle the nobles who are against the idea.

"Maybe if we give Lordaeron even more land, they would give us enough food for free," joked one of the nobles who was against the idea.

Some of his fellow nobles burst into laughter while others maintained the angry looks on their faces.

"Seriously though, your wife is dead. You have no concrete relation with the house of Menethil anymore," said another noble.

"My son... my son, Isiden, carries the blood of a Menethil," replied Brayden.

"Do you really think they'd give a damn about your son?" asked the same noble.

Aliden can't take it anymore. He finally stood up to defend his uncle: "I see merit in my uncle's idea. Those of you who are against asking help from Lordaeron are simply too blinded by your hatred for something which had happened long ago".

Aliden's statement caused a commotion. The nobles who attacked his uncle now directed their anger towards him.

"We have every right to be angry at Lordaeron. If it weren't for them, maybe you would have a bigger kingdom to inherit," taunted one of the nobles.

"Enough! This has gone far enough," shouted king Aiden who could no longer stand the attacks against his brother and son.

He then looked towards Brayden and said: "Go to Lordaeron and accomplish what you can."

With that, Brayden took a bow towards his brother and left the chamber in order to prepare for his travel. Aiden then turned his attention towards the nobles.

"The rest of you, go back to your lands and assure your subjects that we are doing all that we can here. We shall gather once again when my brother returns from his delegation," said Aiden.

"Yes, Your Majesty," replied everyone.

As everyone started to clear the room, Aliden could notice angry gazes towards him by some of the nobles. Just then, the king tapped his son's right shoulder and praised him.

"Good work, my son. Good work," said Aiden.

The king then returned to his seat and discussed matters with his advisors again. As for Aliden, he hoped that his uncle would bring good news upon his return. Just as he exited the chamber, it occured to him that he would have to explain to his friend, Cedric, who would no doubt get angry at him for making such a statement against those who lost some or all of their lands to Lordaeron.
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Old 08-13-2011, 09:07 PM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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Tome of Knowledge III: Making Way for the Future

As Aliden made his way towards the dining hall, he noticed nobles taking glances at him. His statement a while ago had attracted quite a lot of attention. What bothered him were the nobles he had insulted. As he passed by some of them, he simply looked down in order to avoid making eye contact with them. When he finally reached the dining hall, he saw Cedric at their usual spot.

He has probably heard by now, thought Aliden.

He went to the table where Cedric was and took a seat in front of his friend.

"Cedric... I," mumbled Aliden.

"Don't bother," replied Cedric.

"Well, I'm sorry," said Aliden.

"You know what, I don't get you. I thought you to wanted make Alterac a proud nation, and yet you would agree with your uncle about begging from another kingdom," said Cedric.

Aliden tried to say, "We don't have any other choice."

However, Cedric cut him off and said, "Not only that, you would also speak ill against those who harbored hatred for Lordaeron."

Aliden chose to remain silent and let his friend continue venting his anger towards him.

"How can you take the issue with western Hillsbrad so lightly?" asked Cedric.

Aliden whispered: "I don't."

Cedric yelled: "It was the biggest loss a kingdom suffered since Stormwind lost their northern territories."

The people there noticed the commotion between Aliden and Cedric, but decided to continue on with their own matters.

Cedric finally calmed down and said: "My grandfather died at that incident, and I never got to know him."

"I know that," Aliden replied.

Just then, Aliden noticed someone approaching them. It was Cedric III, the father of his friend. Aliden felt nervous because he feared the older Cedric would throw an even greater tantrum than the younger Cedric. As Aliden braced himself, the older Cedric reached out his right hand as if asking for a hand shake. Aliden was confused, but decided to shake the hand of the older Cedric nonetheless.

"That was quite a feat back there, standing up for your uncle," said the older Cedric.

"Thank you," said Aliden.

The older Cedric took a seat facing the two young men. Aliden tried to apologize, but the older Cedric cut him off.

"I admit, I still mourn the death of my father up to now. However, I am not going to let that cloud my judgment when it comes to deciding for the best," said the older Cedric.

Both Aliden and the younger Cedric were baffled by his statement.

"We should do whatever it takes for the future of our people even if it means swallowing our pride for a moment," said the older Cedric.

"Father," said the younger Cedric.

The older Cedric looked towards him and said: "Know that I loved your grandfather very much. Unfortunately, he had lost his way and he paid for it with his life."

The older Cedric then turned towards Aliden and said: "We should stop thinking of whatever happened at western Hillsbrad as an embarrassment, but rather as a lesson for all of us."

The older Cedric signalled a servant to bring them drinks. He then said to the young men: "Now, I don't want you two fighting because of something which happened in the past."

By then, the servant had delivered them their drinks. The older Cedric distributed the drinks to the young men.

"You should be working together instead for the future," said the older Cedric.

He stood up and raised his drink.

He then said: "For the future."

Aliden and the younger Cedric also stood up and raised their drinks.

They then said in unison: "For the future."

The three then took their drinks.

"This doesn't change the fact that I lost my woman to some noble of Lordaeron," interrupted the younger Cedric.

The three burst in laughter. As for Aliden, he felt relief. He thought that if the Falconcrests, who had lost the most, were able to put their past aside, then the other nobles would hopefully be able to do so as well.
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Old 08-14-2011, 07:09 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Two so quickly! I can hardly keep up with you people these days!

Quote:
"Don't get comfortable too soon. We have yet to know the extent of damage the blizzard has caused," reminded Aliden.
Usually, it would be "Aliden reminded him."

Aliden is the prince, right? The officer (or anyone else, for that matter) would recognize him. I would think he would salute or something, not to mention address him as "sir." Edit: "your highness" Should've read a little farther... However, any time an honorific like 'Your Majesty' is used in place of a name, it gets capitalized.

Quote:
"Excuse me, my fine officer. Had there been reports of any casualties? Was anyone badly injured? What is the status of the general population?" asked Aliden.
Remember what I said about exceptions? Only periods get replaced.

Quote:
everyone in the countryside is
'Everyone' refers to many people, but the word itself is singular. Don't ask me why.

Quote:
"So you want everyone to starve including ourselves," snided a noble.
I hadn't heard that used as a verb before. Luckily, English is very flexible about parts of speech, but this would usually be 'sneered.'

Quote:
"Go towards Lordaeron and accomplish what you can."
Ususally it would be "go to." Lordaeron is a destination, not a direction.

I notice a lot of passages that use the form "Somebody called out: 'dialogue.'" That's technically correct, but it's not usually done that way. Most writers stick to putting the speaking action after the dialogue.
  • From what I heard, however, everyone
  • really big, given the presence
  • sarcastic comments," said Aliden.
  • on his face as he sought counsel
  • The others present OR The others who were present
  • the rest of the family fled
  • reminded of the grim history, and
  • starve, including ourselves
  • knew it was best to let him speak
  • some of the nobles were
  • Brayden's wife happened
  • who could no longer


Quote:
"He has probably heard by now," thought Aliden.
Thoughts are usually italicized, rather than marked with quotes.

Quote:
The three burst in laughter.
'Burst' is irregular. In this case, the present and past tenses are the same.
  • had attracted quite a lot of attention.
  • What bothered him was
  • a proud nation, and yet you would
  • Aliden tried to say, "We don't
  • and said, "Not only
  • Hillsbrad so lightly?" asked Cedric.
  • Aliden and Cedric, but decided
  • Aliden was confused, but decided
  • Aliden tried to apologize, but
  • an embarrassment, but rather as a lesson



I must admit to being impressed. You have a very good grasp of the setting, which feels rich and dynamic. Throwing in a bit of conflict is an excellent move, even if just momentary. While sentence flow remains somewhat awkward, your vocabulary is outstanding for a non-native speaker.
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Old 08-15-2011, 09:04 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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@DarkAngel: Thanks again for the corrections. On a side note, our schools spend more time teaching english than teaching Filipino/Tagalog.
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Old 08-20-2011, 11:55 AM
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Tome of Knowledge IV: A Crisis Averted

Almost a month had passed since Lord Brayden’s departure. In the meantime, the people of Alterac had grown restless. Several suppliers of food had begun hoarding their supplies. This caused food prices to soar tremendously, and some citizens started to riot in the streets. Eventually, King Aiden was forced to declare martial law in order to maintain peace and order. Claiming that they could handle the situation more efficiently, his government also took over food production and distribution. Unfortunately, this move only aggravated the people.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aliden watched from a window as soldiers dispersed another crowd who protested just outside the castle.

Uncle better come back with good news, he thought to himself.

He believed that the declaration of martial law was necessary. It was the only way that the government could prevent anyone from taking advantage of the situation. But, he also believed that the government takeover of businesses, without proper compensation to the owners, was unjust. Whenever he tried to bring this up to his father, the latter would simply tell him that people needed to make sacrifices in dire times. Unfortunately so far, only the common people were making sacrifices, and Aliden knew that. As he continued staring from the window, Queen Isolde passed by and approached him.

"Don't lose hope, Aliden. I'm sure something good will come up," said the queen.

Aliden looked at his mother and smiled. Before he could utter a word however, a servant cut him off.

"Your Highnesses... Lord Brayden has returned," said the servant.

Both Aliden and his mother rejoiced at the news, but Aliden was little bit confused.

"How was he able to return on such short notice?" asked Aliden.

"He travelled by boat via Lordamere Lake, my lord. He and his son went ahead of the others so that he could bring the good news as soon as possible," replied the servant.

"Where is he now?" asked Aliden.

"Your uncle is currently staying at Lord Valimar's castle, my lord," replied the servant.

"Your father must hear of this immediately," said the queen.

With that, Aliden ordered the servant and others to prepare for his family's departure towards Lord Valimar's castle. On the other hand, he went to inform his father personally.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was almost the middle of the night when several stagecoaches arrived at Baron Valimar's castle.

"We're here, my son," said King Aiden to Aliden, who had just awaken.

Together with Queen Isolde, they stepped out of their stagecoach. King Aiden had also invited other nobles, but only few were able to come. Others were either too busy keeping their holdings in check or were simply too far away. Aliden was disappointed that his friend, Cedric, was unable to come as well. However, he knew that his friend was probably helping the elder Cedric in governing their lands, and he was fine with that. He, too, was assisting his own father.

As the royal family and the rest of the visitors made their way to the castle, Aliden saw several boats docked at the Misty Shore.

"If uncle and his son went ahead of the others, then why are there several ships?" Aliden asked his father.

"I don't know. That is why we are here," replied King Aiden.

As they approached the entrance to the castle, Baron Valimar came out to welcome them personally into his castle. Baron Valimar immediately led them into a large chamber where everyone was eventually seated. Lord Brayden was already there.

King Aiden and his brother embraced each other, for they have not seen each other for quite some time.

"Welcome home, Brayden," greeted King Aiden.

"It's good to be back, brother," replied Brayden.

"It's good that you're back, indeed. Things have taken a turn for the worse since you've left," said King Aiden.

"I know. Valimar has already told me. But, you need not worry anymore," said Brayden.

Lord Brayden went to the center in order to address everyone. By then, Aliden already knew what his uncle was going to say. All he had to do was take a good look at his uncle's face.

"Everyone, Alterac's troubles are over... They are OVER!", shouted Brayden with pride.

Everyone in the room was curious.

"King Terenas had bestowed upon us that which we seek: food at a lower price. In fact, I have taken the liberty of delivering the first batch, and there is more to come," said Brayden.

Aliden thought of the ships he saw earlier. They were used to deliver the food his uncle was talking about.

"Excuse me, just how much were you able to bargain for?" asked a noble from the crowd.

Brayden looked towards the noble in order to address the latter's question.

"King Terenas and other generous nobles of Lordaeron were willing to offer it to us at about half its original price," gloated Brayden.

Almost everyone in the room was delighted with the news. They were finally able to let out a sigh of relief after all the troubles they had gone through. Still, others remained skeptical that their problems were indeed over. One of them was a financial adviser to the king. He stood up and went to Lord Brayden's location.

"If I may, my lord?" requested the adviser.

Lord Brayden then gave him space.

"Even if the food from Lordaeron is at half a price, we still won't be able to pay for it with our current budget. Our resources are already spread thin," said the adviser.

"What do you suggest then?" asked King Aiden.

"I'm afraid we will need to step up taxation," answered the adviser.

"TAXATION! Haven't the people of Alterac suffered enough already?" retorted Queen Isolde.

The people in the room started to get riled up again. Just when they thought their problem was solved, another one had come up. Even Aliden was troubled. He knew that the people would not put up any longer with another burden passed unto them.

There must be some way to get around this, he thought.

Before things started to get out of control, Baron Theodore stepped into the center as well.

"Instead of increasing the taxes on our people, perhaps we can just increase the tariff on foreign goods," said Theodore.

"I second that motion. Merchants from our neighboring kingdoms always have more than enough," said another noble.

Everyone thought of Baron Theodore's idea as a good one. While Lordaeron's Andorhal was the center of trade within the continent, goods from the southern regions would still have to go through the Alterac Mountains.

King Aiden called for a vote, and the majority, including Aliden, backed Baron Theodore. Although Aliden praised Baron Theodore's idea, he couldn't help but speculate that the latter had an ulterior motive. Baron Theodore governed the town of Strahnbrad, which was along the trade route to Andorhal. He was also worried about how foreign merchants would react to an increase in the tariff. Then again, this would only be temporary. All he could do at that moment was hope for the best.

With that, King Aiden adjourned the gathering. Everyone went to their rooms, which Baron Valimar had prepared for them. At that time, nobody expected that something worse was yet to come.
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Old 08-23-2011, 09:53 AM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Aliden sounds like a reasonable and compassionate man, a stark contrast to what he eventually becomes.

I don't think the prince would have the authority to send the whole royal family on a trip, do you? That's the king's place.
  • Claiming that they could handle the situation
  • the government could prevent
  • Before he could utter a word, however,
  • return on such short notice?"
  • he could bring the good news


If Terenas is offering the grain at half price, and he and others are paying the other half, wouldn't that make it free? That's a bit misleading.
  • had just awakened. awaken, awoke, had/has awakened Irregular verbs do crazy things.
  • embraced each other, for they have not seen
  • Valimar has already told me.
  • that which we seek: food
  • I have taken the liberty
  • to offer it to us at about half its original price.
  • skeptical that their problems were indeed over.
  • "TAXATION! Haven't the people of Alterac
  • another one had come up.
  • an increase in the tariff.

This is getting better with every chapter! Keep at it.
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Old 08-24-2011, 05:10 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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"Aliden sounds like a reasonable and compassionate man, a stark contrast to what he eventually becomes."

I scanned "Tides of Darkness" and "Beyond the Dark Portal. From what I understand, it was King Aiden's idea to betray the Alliance twice. Aliden even punched his father after finding out his father allied with orcs a second time. Basically, Aliden's story is about a man who had noble intentions but would eventually become a villain due to unfortunate circumstances.

"I don't think the prince would have the authority to send the whole royal family on a trip, do you? That's the king's place."

Aliden simply took the initiative. He assumed his father would want to go and meet his uncle immediately.

"If Terenas is offering the grain at half price, and he and others are paying the other half, wouldn't that make it free? That's a bit misleading."

I fixed that. I am going to expand on this, instead, in Isiden's story. Brayden brought Isiden with him to Lordaeron, and we are going to find out about what happened there through Isiden's point of view.

"This is getting better with every chapter! Keep at it."

Actually, I am looking forward to doing the Alterac-Stromgarde war already. At least two more chapters and the war begins! Certain characters are going to die at that point.

As always, thanks for the corrections and clarifications.
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Old 08-27-2011, 02:17 AM
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Tome of Knowledge V: Looking Out for Your Own

Lord Theodore’s suggestion had actually paid off. Food from Lordaeron came pouring in, and Alterac was able to pay for it. There were complaints coming from the foreign merchants, but these didn’t really alarm most of Alterac’s officials. Some, however, became concerned.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inside the castle, Prince Aliden was walking along a hallway when someone called for his attention. He recognized the person, who turned out to be Lord Jorach.

“Excuse me, my prince. May I have a moment of your time?” requested Lord Jorach.

Lord Jorach then signalled for Aliden to follow him inside a room. Aliden pondered on what Lord Jorach could possibly want with him. Nonetheless, he followed the noble inside the room. As he entered the room, he noticed that there were three other people inside.

Ravenholdt agents, no doubt, thought Aliden.

Once Aliden was inside, one of the agents went outside and closed the door. Aliden assumed that whatever Lord Jorach was going to discuss with him, it had to be kept secret. He then turned back his attention towards Lord Jorach.

“So, how fares the royal prince?” asked Lord Jorach.

“Enough chatter, Lord Jorach. By the looks of things, you have something urgent to tell me,” interrupted Aliden.

“Right down to business; I like that,” said Lord Jorach.

Lord Jorach gestured for one of his agents to bring out a document. He then handed it to Aliden. Aliden, then, examined the document. He was not yet fully educated on such matters, but he knew that the document had something to do with the collection of tariffs. Upon closer examination, Aliden determined that the document was regarding the collection of tariffs from Strahnbrad. It also had the signature of Lord Theodore, lord of Strahnbrad.

“I don’t get it. Why are you showing me this?” asked Aliden.

Lord Jorach didn’t answer. Instead, he gestured for his other agent to bring out another document. He also gave it to Aliden, who examined it as well. The documents were identical except for certain details. In one of the documents, the values were noticeably higher than those of the other.

“That was the one submitted to Alterac City,” said Lord Jorach while pointing at the document which had the lower values between the two.

Aliden then figured out that there was corruption going on and it involved the collection of tariffs. He deduced that Lord Theodore was charging the foreign merchants more than what was agreed upon by the government. However, things like this had been common practice among the nobles for a long time. Thus, these were usually ignored by government officials.

“Why does this concern you so much?” asked Aliden.

“Because it concerns the future of Alterac,” replied Lord Jorach.

Aliden had a confused look on his face, and this prompted Lord Jorach to explain.

Lord Jorach asked one of his agents to bring out a map, which was then laid out on a table in between him and Aliden. Meanwhile, the other agent brought out other documents.

“The relationships with our neighbours are getting strained. Merchants from western Hillsbrad are now considering alternative trade routes to the north. They are hesitant on whether they should continue trading with the north via the Alterac Mountains or whether they should switch to using Silverpine Forest instead. Currently, the tariff imposed by Alterac is just a little behind that imposed by Gilneas. The merchants are also open to trading via Lordamere Lake. As of now, these merchants are still trading with the north via the Alterac Mountains. However, I fear that Lord Theodore and his lackeys would push the merchants towards using the alternative trade routes instead,” explained Lord Jorach.

“Indeed, that is a big problem,” said Aliden.

“There’s more. Merchants from the Arathi Highlands are getting bolder on the other hand. They wouldn’t put up with the corruption going on. They are now hiring mercenaries, some of whom are soldiers for Stromgarde. The mercenaries would accompany the merchants through the Alterac Mountains. They would intimidate the guards along the checkpoints so that the merchants would only pay much less than what is required from them. I fear that if this gets out of hand, we might end up in conflict with Stromgarde,” added Lord Jorach.

Aliden was impressed with the information presented to him by Lord Jorach. His agents excelled in undercover assignments, and that is why there had been calls for the Ravenholdt to be Alterac’s official secret service organization. However, it wasn’t the time for giving praises. Aliden had to help Lord Jorach in diffusing the situation. As the future king, it was his duty to look out for his kingdom’s welfare. Still, he wondered why Lord Jorach would place such a heavy burden on him.

“Why me?” asked Aliden.

“Lord Theodore is a close friend of your father and holds significant influence in the court. He is also among those who are against officialising the Ravenholdt. People might think I’m simply getting personal with him,” replied Lord Jorach.

“Do you really think I can get my father to reprimand Lord Theodore?” asked Aliden.

“You’re his son. He has to listen to you,” answered Lord Jorach.

With that, Aliden took the evidences with him and went to his father’s private chamber immediately.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aliden went inside his father’s private chamber. He found his father sitting behind the latter’s desk as usual. The king was also apparently under the influence of flushbloom again.

Typical, thought Aliden.

He immediately laid out the documents, which he had received from Lord Jorach, on his father’s desk.

“What are these,” asked King Aiden.

Aliden explained everything to his father just as Lord Jorach had explained everything to him earlier. However, the king doesn’t seem quite bothered at all.

“Jorach’s been snooping around again, hasn’t he?” asked King Aiden.

“If it weren’t for him, we would never have found out,” replied Aliden.

King Aiden brushed the documents aside and leaned comfortably on his chair.

“According to reports, we almost have enough money to pay for the food from Lordaeron. The increase in the tariff will be abolished as soon as possible after we have reached our quota,” said King Aiden.

“What about Lord Theodore?” asked Aliden.

“Leave him be,” replied King Aiden.

Aliden knew his father would say something like that. Nevertheless, he tried to convince the king to reprimand the noble.

“During our time of need, we were blessed that Lordaeron was willing to sell us cheap food. It is only just that we repay such good fortune by righting the wrongs done by Lord Theodore,” said Aliden.

King Aiden did not respond and remained quiet on his chair.

“Father, it is only fair,” shouted Aliden.

“Fair? What do you know about fair? Was it fair when the nobles of Strom taxed our forefathers to death just so they can build Lordaeron and Stormwind? Was it fair when Alterac was surpassed by its neighbours due to attrition?” King Aiden lashed out at Aliden.

Aliden could not answer his father. He couldn’t believe that his father was entangled with such an old tale. It was a tale of how Alterac and Gilneas, the strongest cities of the Arathorian Empire, were swindled by those who would eventually establish the Kingdoms of Lordaeron and Stormwind.

“I thought so,” said King Aiden.

King Aiden stood up and picked up the documents in front of him. He then threw them into the fireplace. Aliden could only watch as the documents slowly turned to ash.

“I was once like you. I was young back then. It wasn’t until Lordaeron’s acquisition of Western Hillsbrad that I realized we can trust nobody but our own. That is why we have to look out for our own,” said King Aiden.

“But things change,” Aliden tried to argue.

“Precisely. Gilneas was once our closest ally back then. But now, they wouldn’t even bother looking at us in our pathetic condition. Given that, who can say that Lordaeron will continue to aid us in the future? To hell with them all, I say. On the other hand, the nobles of Alterac have always been loyal since its inception,” said King Aiden.

By then, Aliden knew that there was no point in arguing with his father. His father’s philosophy disturbed him. Still, he was relieved that the increase in the tariff would be called off soon. At least the merchants will be pacified before things get out of hand. Meanwhile, King Aiden sat back on his chair.

“Alterac endured not because it did what was right, but because it did what was necessary. It endured not because other kingdoms’ compassion, but because of its own ingenuity. The sooner you get this into your head, the better. You may take your leave now,” said King Aiden.

“As you wish, father,” replied Aliden.

With that, Aliden left the king’s private chamber. His father proved to be stubborn, but he still hoped to prove him wrong eventually.

I’ll show you, father, thought Aliden to himself.
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Old 08-27-2011, 12:36 PM
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This is getting good! The list of 'fixes' is very short, and the characters are showing depth. In fact, you leave me wanting more.

Quote:
Nonetheless, he followed the latter inside the room.
"Former" and "latter" are generally used only when there has been a list of two things. The subject and object don't count as a list. Then again, it could just be a different dialect convention. Do you see this often?

Quote:
“Alterac had endured not because it did what was right, but because it did what was necessary. It had endured not because other kingdoms’ compassion, but because of its own ingenuity.
It was a very good move to change this from exposition to dialogue (as I suspect you did), but it makes the 'hads' unnecessary.

  • and Alterac was able to pay for it.
  • some of whom are soldiers for Stromgarde.
  • under the influence of flushbloom
  • Alterac and Gilneas, the strongest cities of the Arathorian Empire, were swindled
  • the nobles of Alterac have always been loyal

This reminds me of one of my quips: "Don't get so carried away sticking it to whitey that you end up sticking it to yourself too," as Pakistan is in the process of doing.

It also brings up the matter of how Aliden and Jorach become enemies, but you'll touch on that, I expect.
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Old 08-28-2011, 12:50 AM
Ujimasa Hojo Ujimasa Hojo is offline

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"Former" and "latter" are generally used only when there has been a list of two things. The subject and object don't count as a list. Then again, it could just be a different dialect convention. Do you see this often?

I used "latter" because "his" can be a little ambiguous in that particular sentence. "His" could refer to Aliden or Aiden.

It also brings up the matter of how Aliden and Jorach become enemies, but you'll touch on that, I expect.

They will become enemies much later.

Thanks for the corrections.
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Old 08-28-2011, 11:06 AM
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Tome of Knowledge VI: The Flames of War Ignites

It had been a week since King Aiden called off the increase in tariff. The government had allocated enough funds for the food coming from Lordaeron, and tensions between them and foreign merchants were finally dissipating. Everyone could have sworn that things were going back to the way they used to be.

Aliden took this as a chance to visit his friend, Cedric, at Tarren Mill. It had been a long time since they’d last seen each other. Aliden was so excited to reunite with Cedric that he did not bother bringing with him his official entourage just so he could travel faster. He would have travelled by himself if it weren’t for his parents, who insisted that he bring at least bodyguards. He brought with him two, and the three of them rode swiftly towards their destination.

They left the capital early morning and arrived at Tarren Mill just before noon. Instead of waiting for the servants to announce his arrival, Aliden rushed off to find Cedric. He found the latter overseeing repairs being done on some of the establishments.

“Cedric,” shouted Aliden from a distance.

Cedric turned towards Aliden’s direction and was surprised by his friend’s unexpected visit.

“Aliden? It so good to see you,” said Cedric.

Aliden got off his horse and shook Cedric’s hand. Cedric left his post to one of the supervisors, and the two walked around the town. They told each other of their recent experiences. There were times of laughter, but there were also times of seriousness. Aliden discussed what had been transpiring within the government in particular and voiced his concern. Cedric then reassured Aliden that everything was going to be fine, and that he should take some time to relax.

“We have been working our bodies to the ground, lately. I think we deserve a break,” said Cedric.

“You’re right. I guess you’re right,” replied Aliden.

“Put your worries away for now because it’s time for a drink. This one is on me,” said Cedric.

The two were about to go to the nearby tavern when something suddenly caught their attention.

“Smoke!” shouted Aliden while pointing at its direction.

“In that direction is... Oh no! We have to hurry,” said Cedric.

The two immediately bolted towards the stables just outside of town in order to get horses. They passed by Aliden’s two bodyguards, who also joined them. Together, the four of them hastily went towards where the smoke was coming from: the Nethander Stead.

When they had arrived, they witnessed several farm houses being engulfed in flames. The villagers tried to put out the flames using pails of water coming from the nearby river, but to no avail.

“The two of you, go and help the villagers,” Aliden ordered his bodyguards.

“Yes sir,” both replied in unison.

“Cedric, go and get help from the town,” Aliden then ordered Cedric.

“What about you?” asked Cedric.

“I’ll help in any way I can here. Now go,” said Aliden.

Cedric rushed back to town immediately while Aliden remained. Aliden noticed that one of his bodyguards helped in evacuating the villagers while the other helped in trying to put out the flames. Aliden wanted to help in any way he could.

Just then, his attention was drawn to a woman who refused to be evacuated just yet because her daughter was left inside one of the burning buildings. Aliden then approached the burning buildings. By concentrating on listening to the girl’s call for help, he was able to pinpoint the building and the girl’s exact location within it. He bravely rushed inside using his cape to protect himself from the searing flames. He approached the girl who stayed at one of the corners and covered her with his cape to protect her as well. Unfortunately, the ceiling near the entrance collapsed just as they were about to leave. They were forced to stay at their corner and wait for whatever fate had in store for them.

I can’t die now, thought Aliden.

As the flames grew bigger, they started to lose hope. The ceiling just a few distance away from them had collapsed as well.

I guess this is it. But, I’m not going to wait for myself to burn to death, thought Aliden.

With that, he drew a gun from his belt. The girl saw it and made gestures as if telling Aliden that she doesn’t want to burn to death either. Aliden loaded the gun and was ready to end their lives at that moment.

“I’ll shoot you first before I shoot myself,” said Aliden in a trembling voice.

However, fate had many more things in store for Aliden. Just as he was about to shoot the girl, help arrived. Water suddenly gushed in from the ceiling, quenching the flames as if like magic. Outside, Cedric had returned and, it was the mages he brought with him who put out the fires with ease. Aliden never felt so relieved in all of his life. He started to cry and laugh at the same time for surviving such an ordeal. His bodyguards quickly rushed through the charred rubble and went to their location. One of the bodyguards assisted the girl while the other assisted Aliden. As Aliden finally got outside, Cedric greeted him.

“What in Tyr’s name were you thinking?” asked Cedric who was relieved that his friend was safe and sound.

Aliden smiled.

“I guess I owe you one,” said Aliden before collapsing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next afternoon, Aliden woke up in one of the Falconcrest’s guest rooms. He then sat up in an upright position.

“You’re awake,” said a voice.

Aliden turned his head towards the direction of the voice. It was Lord Brayden.

“Uncle, what happened?” asked Aliden.

Aliden could only remember talking to Cedric after he got out of the burned building. Everything else was a blur.

“You lost consciousness right after you got out of the building,” replied Lord Brayden.

“And the girl?” asked Aliden.

“She’s fine. I got in touch with her family, and they told me she was recovering just as you are,” replied Lord Brayden.

Aliden tried to get up, but his uncle insisted that he rest further.

“Go easy on yourself. You need to regain your strength,” said Lord Brayden.

With that, Aliden tried to get some rest, but something unnerved him. As he looked outside the window, he saw several stagecoaches. Upon further inspection, he also noticed that their designs were too luxurious and too intricate for any ordinary stagecoach. Some of them seemed familiar. As he thought about it, it struck him that the stagecoaches belonged to nobles. He then wondered why several nobles would bother showing up there.

“What’s going on?” asked Aliden while looking out through the window.

“Your father called for an emergency meeting. He is now at the town hall discussing the recent incident with the nobles,” replied Lord Brayden.

Lord Brayden’s answer only got Aliden even more restless.

“Why would something like this cause such an emergency?” asked Aliden.

Lord Brayden couldn’t give a straight answer. He mumbled a bunch of stuff, but Aliden couldn’t make anything out of it. It was at that moment that Lord Jorach entered the room.

“I’ll take it from here, Lord Brayden,” interrupted Lord Jorach.

Lord Brayden gave way to Lord Jorach and sat in a corner.

“Lord Jorach? Just what is going on?” Aliden asked Lord Jorach.

Lord Jorach grabbed something from his pocket and threw to Aliden. Aliden caught the object and examined it thoroughly.

“My men found it at the Nethander Stead just after the fire was put out,” said Lord Jorach.

“It doesn’t make sense,” exclaimed Aliden.

It was a Stromgarde Badge.

“Why would Stromgarde do such a thing?” asked Aliden.

Lord Jorach cleared his throat in preparation for a long explanation.

“Based from what my agents gathered, the perpetrators were indeed from Stromgarde. However, it is highly unlikely that the kingdom itself is involved,” said Lord Jorach.

“If the Stromgardian soldiers didn’t start the fire in the name of their kingdom, for whom then?” asked Aliden.

“They did it for some disgruntled merchants,” replied Lord Jorach.

Aliden was surprised. He remembered his earlier conversation with Lord Jorach regarding Stromgardian merchants hiring soldiers as their mercenaries. But, it still didn’t make sense. His father had already called off the increase in tariff on foreign goods.

“The increase in tariff had been called off for quite some time already. Why would the merchants order such a thing at this late juncture?” asked Aliden.

“True. The tariff had indeed been called off. However, it would seem that a certain noble did not obey your father completely. The noble called Theodore Vardus kept the tariff in his holdings higher than usual. I guess that is what ticked off the merchants,” replied Lord Jorach.

Aliden clenched his fists in anger. It irked him that Lord Theodore’s misdeeds had caused other people to suffer. If his father had only reprimanded Lord Theodore earlier, this wouldn’t have had happened. Still, Aliden also believed that the merchants and their mercenaries were also at fault. All of them would have to answer.

“Does father know?” asked Aliden.

“Yes, I had already reported my men’s findings to him. Even as we speak, your father is discussing with the nobles about what should our next move be,” replied Lord Jorach.

“I need to be involved in this,” said Aliden.

He struggled to get up in order to go to the town hall. His uncle tried to stop him, but Aliden was persistent. He got his clothes on and went to his destination.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aliden had finally reached where his father and the nobles had gathered. His uncle and Lord Jorach accompanied him. At that point, everyone in the room was already riled up. He then turned his attention to Lord Theodore, who was also present.

“Don’t be naive Aliden. It would be foolish to go after Lord Theodore right now,” warned Lord Brayden.

Aliden proceeded to where his father was located. The king noticed his son approaching and called on everyone to acknowledge the prince for his bravery the day before.

“Everyone, I am delighted to inform you that joining us now is my son, a true hero of Alterac,” bragged King Aiden.

King Aiden grabbed his son’s shoulder and pulled him up front for everyone to see. Everyone then cheered for the prince.

“Long live the prince! Long live the prince!” cheered everyone in unison.

Aliden tried to whisper something to his father, but his father cut him off.

“Don’t say anything stupid, my boy. We’ll discuss this later,” insisted King Aiden.

King Aiden then turned back to the crowd.

“Standing before you now is my son, who nearly lost his life because of some brutes from STROMGARDE!” yelled King Aiden.

“Are we going to let them get away with it?” King Aiden asked the crowd.

“NO!” replied the crowd.

“Are we going to dispense justice upon the perpetrators?” King Aiden asked the crowd.

“YES!” replied the crowd.

“I have heard rumors that some of the perpetrators have connections with the upper echelons of Stromgarde. What if Stromgarde doesn’t give them up?” asked a noble.

“Stromgarde will have to give them up. Otherwise, they’ll suffer the consequences,” bragged King Aiden.

Hypocrite, thought Aliden.

His father would call out other kingdoms on their “injustices” without cleaning up his own kingdom first.

“In order to show them that we mean business, Thoradin’s wall is to be closed. Trade will only resume after they had given our demands,” added King Aiden.

Almost everyone praised King Aiden for his determination in pursuit of justice. However, there were some who were worried, including Aliden. They were worried that the King’s action would get them into a full blown conflict. What worried them more was that it was going to be a conflict with the Kingdom of Stromgarde.
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Last edited by Ujimasa Hojo; 09-10-2011 at 03:08 AM..
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:30 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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So, wait. How did Cedric get a horse?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ujimasa Hojo View Post
His uncle tried to stop him, but Aliden was persistent.
Didn't Lord Brayden leave the room? Or, is Jorach also an uncle?
  • It had been a week since King Aiden
  • It had been a long time
  • since they’d last seen
  • just so he could travel faster.
  • help in any way he could.
I can't reiterate this enough: past tense!

  • his parents, who insisted
  • “Smoke!” shouted Aliden Anything shouted is an expression of strong emotion, no?
  • immediately bolted towards the horses just outside
  • Aliden’s two bodyguards, who also joined
  • nearby river, but to no avail.
  • shoot the girl, help arrived.
  • gushed in from the ceiling, quenching
  • Outside, Cedric had returned, and it was
  • Lord Theodore, who was also present.

Good work, young padawan. I once again compliment your insight and depth.
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