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  #26  
Old 10-02-2011, 03:30 AM
Kir the Wizard Kir the Wizard is offline

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I was waiting for this so eagerly! Thank you for your work, Andy!

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Originally Posted by AndyJP
"The Kaldorei!" Axxavia spat. "What is so great about your people? They will never understand great minds like you or I. The druids have pushed their authoritarian agenda on their kind...there is no room for the outspoken, nor any alternative views that they do not agree with. Rejoining their society has never been a desire of me or my Satyrs."
You know, that's something I could have read in a thread on Scrolls of Lore, not heard from a Satyr girl. Perhaps you could change it, so it wouldn't sound like a history book? Phrases like "authoritarian agenda", "alternate views", "creating a new society" are unlikely to be heard in a talk between two tired half-demons.
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Old 10-02-2011, 01:59 PM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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Originally Posted by Kir the Wizard View Post
I was waiting for this so eagerly! Thank you for your work, Andy!


You know, that's something I could have read in a thread on Scrolls of Lore, not heard from a Satyr girl. Perhaps you could change it, so it wouldn't sound like a history book? Phrases like "authoritarian agenda", "alternate views", "creating a new society" are unlikely to be heard in a talk between two tired half-demons.
Thanks! I went back and forth on the word "authoritarian". It really does not feel right in a fantasy setting, but I couldn't think of a way to re-word what I was writing. If anyone can think of better wording at this spot, please let me know!
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  #28  
Old 10-06-2011, 10:22 AM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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If you're wondering, I've been slow getting around to this because real life is getting in the way. Let's just say your parents never like it when you're unemployed.

First, about the picture. I like how you used the hill to hide Kil'Jaeden's missing lower half. I am wondering why he's green. The TFT cutscene had him red and transparent, suggesting he was projecting an image of himself without acutally being present.
  • their last exchange having erased

Quote:
The apparition of Gul'dan
It's the first time we've seen one, so it wouldn't be any specific one, as a definite article implies.

This is a HUGE improvement. At least for this section all that's left is a few finer points. I hope this continues.
  • where their camaraderie ended, and 10,000 years of distrust
  • their former commander, Fandral Staghelm, the gravity
  • a knack for butting heads with his superiors, which Alandien was discovering
  • discovering first-hand. "Did you see
  • before he incited a riot. However, she could not

Quote:
we're heading south
A direction is not a proper noun. A place, ie. what an American refers to as "the South," is. It gets confusing because both "We're headed to the south" and "We're headed to the South" are correct, but the latter refers to a specific place.

Ah, I wondered where Illidan got his demon hunters from. Still, it doesn't explain where the ones availible as War3 heroes came from.

"Months passed?" How long did it take between Hyjal and Maiev's persuit? Since I'm too lazy to look up that first loading screen, we'll say it can be whatever you want.

"Search your feelings?" Really?
  • every last demon someday,
  • former disciple, or had no reason
  • in your hunt, you have become

"Your heart's desire" is a very flexible concept, and one "the Deceiver" would be apt to use. After all, deep down, everyone desires death, right?

This keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work!
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  #29  
Old 10-06-2011, 11:56 AM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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I'm going to make the edits later tonight when I have some free time. I haven't started on the next part yet so it won't be up this weekend. I have been putting some time into the comic, where I've almost completed "Battle of the Dark Portal". I'll get back to this story next week.

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If you're wondering, I've been slow getting around to this because real life is getting in the way. Let's just say your parents never like it when you're unemployed.
Sorry to hear that! I hope you find some work soon. I feel lucky to have you offer your expertise each time.

Quote:
First, about the picture. I like how you used the hill to hide Kil'Jaeden's missing lower half. I am wondering why he's green. The TFT cutscene had him red and transparent, suggesting he was projecting an image of himself without acutally being present.
I was inspired by this picture: http://freewallpaperz.info/wallpaper.../160899742.jpg, although that depicts their later meeting in Outland. The hill is a cliff I borrowed from Lost Isles and put in a screenshot of Ashenvale for the scene, lol. I forgot to make him transparent, but it is explained in the story why he is green: "Illidan turned around. The magics that empowered Kil'jaedan's astral projection animated his appearance perfectly, and it was the fel magic that was aligned so precisely that allowed Illidan to see the demon as clear as he once saw the world long ago."

Quote:
Ah, I wondered where Illidan got his demon hunters from. Still, it doesn't explain where the ones availible as War3 heroes came from.
I think that either Illidan is not the first demon hunter, or he trained others prior to his incarceration as the demon hunter in darkshore was killed by Maiev "many years ago". I suppose this could mean that he was killed while she was hunting for Illidan, though.

Quote:
"Months passed?" How long did it take between Hyjal and Maiev's persuit? Since I'm too lazy to look up that first loading screen, we'll say it can be whatever you want.
Illidan explicitly states that he was visited by Kil'jaedan many months after the defeat of the Burning Legion at Mount Hyjal when Kael and Vashj meet up with him in Outland. I kind of changed that up and had Kil'jaedan appear almost instantly after Archimonde was defeated, to show that he had been watching the events. The "months passed" is just to reference how long it took for the demon hunter training.
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  #30  
Old 10-23-2011, 12:12 AM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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I just wanted to mention that this story isn't dead. I was sick last week and I had been working hard on the comic a lot also. I am going to complete this and my comic...I am really enjoying it all and I don't like to quit things. I also have a Kael'thas fanfiction I am working on, that also is meant to tie into the comic (but can be read stand-alone as well). Instead of tracing his Frozen Throne steps, the story takes place prior to the third war, at different points all throughout his life...so I have a lot more flexibility with it.
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  #31  
Old 10-23-2011, 02:35 PM
Kir the Wizard Kir the Wizard is offline

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Less talky, more story! Andy, post new chapters, please!
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  #32  
Old 11-07-2011, 09:28 AM
Royalpimp Royalpimp is offline

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I'm loving your story(and your comic). Your style is a bit 'fast', as in things are happening a bit too fast but to be honest I rather like it. Too many details and slow progression makes me lose my patience often. Hope to see more soon.
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Old 11-07-2011, 06:36 PM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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Originally Posted by Royalpimp View Post
I'm loving your story(and your comic). Your style is a bit 'fast', as in things are happening a bit too fast but to be honest I rather like it. Too many details and slow progression makes me lose my patience often. Hope to see more soon.
Thanks! The current chapter in the comic is going to be about 4x longer than the other parts...the chapter might not be concluded by the end of the year. I currently have 30 pages of it completed (for comparison, the last two chapters were 11 and 10 pages long.)

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Less talky, more story! Andy, post new chapters, please!
The next chapter will be on here by the end of the week if all goes as planned!
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Old 11-12-2011, 08:17 PM
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Default Illidan & Gul'dan Fanfic Appreciation Thread Chapter

Here are my excuses for this being late:
  • I was sick
  • I had some catching up to do in my comic
  • I had to assassinate Gadaffi
  • I was abducted by aliens
  • Dog ate my story notes
  • Work, work...no time for play! Me not that kind of Orc!

    I think this is my longest chapter. I cut a few scenes from it to shorten it down, as I felt these scenes were largely unimportant dialogue that added nothing to the story. They might have helped to ease transitions here and there but I didn't think it was too necessary. One of the scenes I mostly cut out and edited a little was Illidan calling the Naga to him and creating lightning bolts and what-not like in the Frozen Throne cinematic. I liked what I came up with better.

    RECAP: As his followers continued to grow impatient with his apparent lack of direction, Illidan decided the next course of action is to find other like-minded outcasts and establish a free-thinking society. His plans were cut short, however, when Kil'jaedan's astral form appeared to him and demanded his servitude. The demon hunter reluctantly agreed to pledge his loyalty, knowing that he was ill-prepared to become a target of the dark lord. Under the orders of the Burning Legion, Illidan then set his sights on Icecrown and its unholy master - the Lich King.

    Does it look more like smoke coming from this burning ship, or more like stink lines?
Quote:

"He's betrayed us! He's made us slaves of the Burning Legion!" shouted the Night Elf Sentinel, Siverell, whose doubts appeared to have been confirmed. Of the remaining Night Elves who were not selected to be trained as demon hunters, he retained the highest rank. His peers looked to him now as their leader ever since Alandien, Altruis, and others left their ranks to become demon hunters. Those few were now Illidan's elite, sworn members of his inner circle, and none of the other Night Elves dared take their concerns to them anymore.

"Strike him down, Stormrage!" Gul'dan demanded, while pointing at the dissenter. "You are a leader now: you must have obedience!"

Axxavia stomped her hoof and glared at Siverell. "How dare you! Felhounds would have feasted on your corpse had it not been for the Master!" Her Satyrs still looked to her for guidance, but she too had ascended to the rank of demon hunter, and had became an equal to her Night Elven counterparts.

Fearing retribution for his defiance, Siverell's allies attempted to restrain and calm him, but his anger continued to get the better of him. "You mongrels chose to be slaves a long time ago! You're all rabid wolves that need to be put down!"

"End this, Stormrage!" Gul'dan was furious that this was allowed to continue, but Illidan remained silent in contemplation, as he often would. His innermost thoughts took precedence, and he displayed no reaction to the verbal outbursts of those under his command.

Axxavia growled. "Is this what the Kaldorei have become? That which you fear or don't understand must be murdered, imprisoned, or exiled?"

"When have the actions of Satyr ever warranted anything else?" Siverell struck back.

Illidan unfurled his wings and garnered everybody's attention. He showed no acknowledgement of the argument that had just occurred. "The ashes of Archimonde lie scattered across Mount Hyjal, and this 'Lich King' has betrayed Kil'jaedan, so whatever plans the Burning Legion made have all failed. We are not abandoning our cause; we will destroy the Legion, but that is not something we can accomplish on our own. For now, we deal with the immediate threat: the Lich King that awaits us on the northern continent. While Malfurion and our short-sighted brothers and sisters celebrate their victory over Archimonde, the Lich King and his undead army grow in power. The world still needs the demon hunters."

Illidan's words appeared to appease all, but he knew that it would only ease their concerns temporarily. His followers demanded results, and Illidan expected more of himself as well.

Gul'dan was observing the sky. "He still watches."

Although at times Illidan would privately speak to Gul'dan out loud, at no point was it ever necessary, for the two maintained a mental connection that could not be severed. "I know. I expect that Kil'jaedan would want to ensure that we are following his plans. I said only what I believe he expected to hear, but it is not too far from the truth."

"I want to know more about this 'Lich King'. Perhaps he can be an ally against the Burning Legion," Gul'dan said, "It may not be in our best interest to kill him."

"If he were a powerful demon capable of rivaling Kil'jaedan, he would have made his move already." Illidan looked to his followers. They were strong and competent, but they were very few. "I must find more allies."

Although they had merged together, Gul'dan had proven himself capable of hiding his thoughts and memories from Illidan. Stormrage didn't understand how this was possible, but he believed that Gul'dan may have developed the ability in death in order to resist the prying minds of demons who sought his abilities. At times when the Orc thought it appropriate or necessary, he would release a memory to Illidan that would strike the Night Elf with a flashback to a life that he had not lived.

A bright white light flashed before Illidan, and he found himself peering through the eyes of Gul'dan as he witnessed a memory of the warlock raising an island from the depths of the Great Sea. The Orc sought powerful demonic artifacts believed to have once been possessions of Sargeras himself. As Illidan attentively watched with interest, he heard the voice of Gul'dan echo inside his head. "Compared to your immortal life time, it was only a short time ago that I was torn to pieces within that tomb. However, death is not restrained by time, and I have accumulated more knowledge in my death than I could possibly have attained in life."

Illidan continued to observe as Orcish warships approached the island. They had come to slay Gul'dan and his followers, but the demon hunter could not ascertain the reason why. He recognized the ruins themselves as old Kaldorei in design, appearing to have been tainted by the Burning Legion. Gul'dan continued to speak over the vision as the memory of himself entered the main structure: "In death, I studied the demons closely, confident that one day I would escape my captors and be able to use the knowledge I had gained against them. I have seen the demons travel through hostile terrain without considering an alternate route. I have watched as they entered battle with mighty dragons and terrifying creatures. I believed them to be entirely devoid of fear. However, what I found to be most peculiar is that there are certain places on Azeroth that they avoid entirely, as though these locations have been cursed by beings as powerful as Sargeras himself."

The memory ended as Gul'dan pushed on alone within the tomb, only to discover ominous demons that Illidan had never before encountered. The scaly monsters erupted forth from within the tomb, attacking mercilessly until they had rended all flesh from the bones of the trespassing Orc. "I believed these guardians to be demons as well, protecting their master's prized possessions. However, I have learned through my servitude in death that this simply cannot be. The Burning Legion have always avoided the depths of the Great Sea. Something terrible lurks below that even the demons do not wish to anger. The creatures that dwelt inside that tomb serve a great master that may oppose the Burning Legion."

"You wish me to betray Kil'jaedan to this being? Who is to say this creature, or the others you claim lay beneath the land, could even destroy Kil'jaedan and Sargeras?" Illidan asked.

"Don't you see, Stormrage? Something powerful put them where they are because they were unable to destroy them. We free them and we unleash them upon Sargeras and his minions."

"How can you be so confident that we would not simply be replacing one great evil with another?"

"The victor is irrelevant. Azeroth will not be their battlefield, instead we summon our new allies to the broken lands of my old homeworld that now exists within the Twisting Nether. This is the realm of Sargeras, and the Burning Legion will not be able to ignore this new threat. The best scenario is that they obliterate each other...the worst scenario is that our allies fail entirely and we end up back where we started."

Illidan pondered the idea for a moment, before returning to Gul'dan. "So I pretend to serve different masters, and force them into battle with each other?"

"Precisely. We require only Medivh's book of spells that I surmise is kept heavily guarded within the Human kingdom of Dalaran. This will allow us to reopen the Dark Portal. On Draenor we will find all the fel energy we need to summon our new allies."

"Then I will try to reach out and communicate with them now." He then turned to his followers who had observed him as standing motionlessly for hours. His sudden awakening commanded their attention, and they listened when he spoke to them. "I must meditate on our next course of action."

Illidan sat down upon the cold, wet earth of Ashenvale, crossed his legs and placed his hands together. He focused on his breathing, slowly inhaling deeply the aroma of the freshly-bloomed Ashenvale forest in the spring, and then exhaling it all until he was fully calm and relaxed. He cleared his mind of all thoughts and distractions, and pictured only his destination: the depths of the Great Sea. As he felt the winds brush against his back and blow through his hair, he experienced the sensation of his bodyweight becoming lighter and lighter until it seemed as though a sudden gust of wind swept him into the sky and towards his destination.

All was dark, and the magical essences of the world no longer showed itself to him. He opened his eyes...and the light rushed in. For one more moment in his life, he could see. Illidan hovered inches above the Great Sea, and not a single strip of land was visible in any direction. He looked down to the water below and marveled at the vibrant color and the animated motion of the waves. He had never had an astral projection so vivid in the past, but he was also more powerful than he had ever been. The world looked more alive than Illidan had remembered. He admired the sights for a while longer before he plunged into the sea. He moved through the water with ease and could not drown, for he was not physically there.

He continued to push downwards beyond the reaches of light. "I have come to pledge my loyalty in exchange for your assistance," Illidan said while hoping his words found ears within the darkening abyss. "I can offer you your freedom." He had hoped that he had already been noticed upon arrival. He was not wrong.

Illidan heard an angered voice speak to him from behind. "You dare reach out into my realm, he who betrayed his Queen?"

Shivers crawled down Illidan's spine. "I know that voice...Queen Azshara!"

"And I have never forgotten yours, Illidan Stormrage!" He looked upon her and saw a figure reminiscent of those that had slain Gul'dan lit up in a glowing aura. Her new appearance only slightly resembled the image he remembered, but her voice was unmistakeable. "You and your brother took everything away from me...and now you have the nerve to seek an audience with the Old Gods? My masters question your sincerity!"

Although safe from physical harm, Illidan felt helpless all alone within the dark depths of the Great Sea. The stories of the Old Gods were so terrifying that all who read them believed they could be only fiction. "The Old Gods...it must have been they who saved you from the sundering," he realized. "Azshara, although I have no remorse for my participation in your downfall, I implore you to listen to what I have to say! Sargeras used you to try and enter Azeroth through the well of eternity, you were his puppet."

"I already know this to be true. My new masters opened my eyes to many great truths a long time ago. I have been...enlightened. Sargeras is but a child compared to the awesome might of the Old Gods...his time will come!"

Illidan was both joyful and terrified of her confidence. Legions of her own kind swam around her, and he soon saw that he had been surrounded. This was an army that had been kept hidden beneath the sea. An army that Illidan desperately wanted. "Then you see...we have a common enemy!"

Azshara laughed obnoxiously. "You wish to bargain with me, Stormrage? All I have thought about for the past 10,000 years was the complete and utter eradication of the Kaldorei race by my hand for denying me their love! What can you possibly have to offer me?"

"I can give you glory in the eyes of your masters, Azshara." He quickly earned her attention and continued, "I can free them from their bonds and hand them the Burning Legion, and it will only be possible with your assistance. The Kaldorei will worship you at your feet once more when you have vanquished Sargeras and saved countless worlds from his tyranny."

"You would have me return as their queen? They don't deserve me! They deserve to suffer!"

"What better revenge could you have than having them beg for your forgiveness?"

Azshara raised her eyebrows and grinned, savoring the thought. "Very well, I will support this plan of yours. My Naga will fight for you and follow your orders, but they will also serve as my eyes and ears on the surface world. Know that my masters and I are suspicious. If you attempt to double-cross us, we will destroy you!" Azshara began to swim away before coming to a full stop. She looked back at Illidan, who floated motionlessly. "One last thing, leave my realm, and don't ever show yourself around here again." Azshara swatted the water in Illidan's direction, and he felt himself being thrown back into his body.

Illidan awakened with his back on the ground and found his followers standing over him appearing confused and concerned. He heard the voice of Gul'dan speak nearby: "They come."

Illidan shooed his onlookers away as he pushed himself back to a vertical position. Gul'dan stood at the shoreline, becoming the first to spot the army of Naga soldiers that swam to his position. His newly-trained demon hunters then took notice of the incoming threat and prepared themselves for battle, but Illidan signaled for them to stand down. "We are not in danger, these are our new allies...they are the Naga, warriors of the sea, who will stand beside us against the Burning Legion."

The monstrous Naga were led to shore by a six-armed serpent-woman wielding a golden bow. She inspected her new allies with intrigue as the multitude of snakes attached to her head licked the air around them. "Lord Stormrage, I am Lady Vashj," she said, bowing before him. "We come on behalf of our Queen to act as your humble servants. We are yours to command."

Illidan saluted her in respect and turned to the rest of his army. "Naga, Satyr and Kaldorei - we are all equals from here on out. We all fight for the same cause: the deaths of Sargeras and Kil'jaedan, and the end of the Burning Legion. But for now, another threat to this world blooms in the frozen north. The Lich King - as he is called, raises the dead from their sleep and spreads disease and terror everywhere he goes. Our destination is a risen island in the Great Sea which houses powerful artifacts that will allow us to obliterate his entire army. We will head to the village of Nendis in the region of Azshara to acquire transportation. It may be some time before we ever return to Kalimdor."

*****

The Night Elf port village of Nendis was far from abandoned. Much to everyone's surprise, the tiny village had boomed into a large community in recent years. Although most able-bodied warriors had left to join Malfurion and Tyrande in stamping out the demonic invasion, the village remained full of children and their caretakers. As Illidan observed the village from a distance, he knew that they would not find the villagers very welcoming. The villagers would be likely to attack, but Illidan wanted to avoid any bloodshed if it were possible.

"You have made difficult decisions before, Stormrage," said Gul'dan. "If they cannot comprehend what you are doing for their future, then you must make them understand."

Illidan considered Gul'dan's message, but instead chose a less violent solution. "Captain Siverell, of those whom I did not train in the path of the demon hunter, you are of the highest rank and most likely to be identified. Take your sentinels with you and convince the villagers that they must evacuate Nendis."

Without saying a word, Siverell nodded and headed down into the village, with a group of sentinels and druids following from behind. The Night Elf was outspoken, but not unskilled. Illidan knew that he was not ready to take on the mantle of demon hunter, but was a worthy soldier that he was glad to have on his side.

Gul'dan was not pleased. "You risk much in trusting that one. He is often insubordinate, and his rebelliousness will spread if you do nothing."

"His concerns are not entirely unjustified," Illidan said to him. "I am not confident in my abilities, and I often question my own decisions. But if I want to earn the trust of my allies, I want it to be through mutual respect, not intimidation."

"Bah!" Gul'dan snorted. "You will find that they will respect you when they have come to fear you. Every follower wants a leader who stands before them like a god. They can all turn on you in an instant, and if you show any signs of weakness, they will prey upon you."

Illidan and Gul'dan's telepathic conversations with each other resulted in the demon hunter showing the outward appearance of being an often quiet, calm, and relaxed Night Elf who appeared to completely freeze in a moment for occasionally long periods of time. His followers were cautious about not interrupting him while he was in this meditative state, but Axxavia had important news. "Master...my scouts have reported that the children are being evacuated through the western path, but few adults accompany them."

"What? What is he doing down there?" Illidan spread his wings and lifted off into the sky to get a closer look at what is happening in the village below. He observed Siverell and his soldiers gathering the men and women of Nendis in a crowd, each holding a weapon of some sort.

The spirit of Gul'dan hovered beside him, informing Illidan of what he already knew: "He has roused an army against you. Your approach has failed, now you must do what you should have done in the first place!"

Illidan growled and dove downward into the village, slamming into the ground with the speed and power of a cannonball. He arose from all fours and stretched out his wings while snarling at the one who betrayed him.

The villagers raised their knives, clubs, and other simple weapons at the monster they saw before them. Charging into battle as tactfully as a child would, the villagers all but fed themselves to Illidan's claws. In a moment's time, he had slaughtered the lot of them, while the less brave villagers fled the scene. Only Siverell and the other betrayers remained to challenge him.

Captain Siverell was horrified. "You are insane!"

Thorned roots burst forth from beneath the ground as two druids attempted to entangle Illidan, but his quick reflexes allowed him to avoid their reach. He briskly muttered an incantation beneath his breath that triggered his warglaives to manifest in his hands. A pair of mounted huntresses fired arrows at his chest that he promptly deflected with his massive blades, and he responded by hurling his warglaives through the air like bladed boomerangs that removed the heads of the two surprised huntresses. Illidan turned to his right to see a rampaging bear charging at him, but the demon hunter was agile enough to catch the transformed druid by the throat and pin him to the ground, ending his attack by retrieving the first of his warglaives that had returned to his hand and thrusting it through the chest of the struggling druid. The surviving druid saw his partner fall and decided to concentrate on ranged magic, keeping distance between Illidan and himself. The druid hastily discharged spell after spell hoping to land a successful hit on the extremely nimble demon hunter, but his otherworldly speed far out-matched anything in the druid's arsenal. The druid surrendered his attack and transformed into a crow, hoping to make a hasty retreat. Stormrage had no mercy for this soldier as he did the villagers, and sliced his feathered body into two symmetrical pieces. Only Siverell stood before him.

"Why did you betray me?" Illidan demanded to know.

"I thought you were the only one that could stop the Burning Legion," Siverell admitted. "But it was your brother's doing that saved us all. We didn't need you, we never did!" He stepped down from his mount and readied his blade. "Shan'do Staghelm was correct, we must never become what we have sworn to defend our world against. We now stand together with demons, and we have sworn servitude to Kil'jaedan. You are in denial about what you have become. All around you is evidence of what you have become! I could not convince these villagers to leave their homes; they were willing to defend them against whatever evil threatened their town. It is YOU who has betrayed yourself! I can only pray that the gods will forgive me for the part I played in your madness." Siverell thrusted his blade into his own stomach and twisted it with his last remaining strength. His body quickly went limp and collapsed on the ground.

The demon hunters, Naga, and Satyr that remained in his army caught up with him after hearing the sounds of battle in the village. They saw only Illidan standing before a large number of dead Night Elves.

Gul'dan approached him with a smile across his face. "They fear you. Now, you have become a true chieftain."

Illidan was disgusted with the site around him. "Burn these bodies! Burn...everything!"

As the Naga and demon hunters went to work burning the dead bodies and village to the ground, Axxavia and her Satyr scouts returned with urgent news. "Master, my scouts have spotted wardens tailing us. What are your orders?"

Illidan silently cursed himself: he knew that leading the group of wardens could be none other than Maiev. Within the barrow deeps, Tyrande had stopped him from killing her, and now she had returned for him. "We have lingered here for too long, ready the boat. I want the demon hunters with me. Vashj, I want you to take your Naga ahead to the tomb of Sargeras, I don't want any surprises waiting for us when we get there. Leave a small force behind to burn these other ships so that we can't be followed. I want a small group of Satyr ready to ambush these wardens when they arrive. I want all of them dead!"

Illidan and his demon hunters boarded the vessel and set sail as Maiev and her wardens came into view. She was a seasoned, exceptional warrior and he expected no less from the rest of her group. He would be very surprised, even disappointed, if she fell to the meager number of Naga and Satyr he had left behind. He stood tall at the ship's stern so that he could clearly be seen. He taunted her with his very freedom, and knew full well that they would meet again.
I didn't do too much with Maiev at the end of this, because it is Illidan's perspective. We already play Maiev's perspective. All we actually see of Illidan in that first scene is him boarding the ship. The Illidan-Kil'Jaedan-Old Gods storyline will continue on into the comic and conclude there.
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Old 11-17-2011, 08:22 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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More trials of everyone's favorite anti-hero! Actually, I'd been wondering if you'd abandoned this project. Good to see you haven't.

I must admit, we have something of an unusual problem here. Gul'dan is speaking as an apparition, a separate entity. He is a 'ghost' that only Illidan can hear. Illidan, on the other hand, is a fully-present being who speaks both literally and mentally. While it would be nice to have a clearer deliniation what is spoken versus what is thought, I'll let it say as it is, if for no other reason than the lack of better options.

I like your allusion to the War3 flashback effect. It's subtle enough that only the few will notice.

The Naga were already in the Tomb when Gul'dan got there? That's a new one...

Keep it in the past! There's a string of present tense around the meeting with Azshara.

You've changed some things, I see. No iconic scene of Illidan summoning the Naga from the depths? I suppose that didn't make sense given later developments. There's also the matter of why Vashj's followers would accept being sent in the de facto service of the Legion when they'd just been told they'd be fighting it.
  • Alandien, Altruis, and others
  • "You are a leader now: you must have obedience!"
  • demon hunter, and had became an equal
  • the immediate threat: the Lich King that awaits us
  • celebrate their victory over Archimonde, the Lich King and his undead army
  • Gul'dan had proven himself capable of hiding his thoughts
  • a flashback to a life that he had not lived.
  • He recognized the ruins themselves as old Kaldorei in design, appearing to have been tainted by the Burning Legion.
  • my old homeworld that now exists That's one word in most fantasy settings.
  • the freshly-bloomed Ashenvale forest
  • his bodyweight becoming lighter
  • Azshara began to swim away
  • She looked back at Illidan, who floated motionlessly.
  • Azshara swated the water in Illidan's direction, and he felt himself
  • His newly-trained demon hunters


That's all I have time for at the moment, I'm afraid. I got roped into a home improvement project. So many posts lately! Hopefully, I can get through this; eventually.

"Everyone's surprise?" Even the renegade Sentinels who've been "outside" all this time?
  • an often quiet, calm, and relaxed Night Elf
  • leave their homes; they were willing
  • They saw only Illidan standing before
  • Illidan silently cursed himself: he knew
  • from killing her, and now she had returned

That was actually quite clever, the way you covered why certain servants don't show up again. Good work.
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Last edited by DarkAngel; 11-18-2011 at 07:32 AM.. Reason: Finished second half
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Old 01-27-2012, 11:11 PM
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Default Blatant Illidan Biased Fanfiction

Here are my excuses for this being late:
  • My new years resolution was to start demon hunter training.
  • Wasn't sure if I wanted to restart this as a fan-comic or not.
  • I had to assassinate Kim Jong-Il
  • I was abducted by bigfoot
  • Kim Jong-Un ate my story notes

    All of the fighting in this one is happening off-screen, since the game mission is mostly just killing Naga and seeing Gul'dan's memories... so there's really not much action, I decided to put more character development into the chapter. Vashj and a few of the demon hunters will start to become more prominent. More notes at the end.

    RECAP: Illidan has decided to play the double-agent in order to destroy the Burning Legion once and for all. Kil'jaedan has tasked him with destroying the Lich King that has broken free from the Legion's control. To do so, he intends to travel to a chain of islands risen from the sea by Gul'dan many years ago, and claim an artifact that once belonged to Sargeras. Not far behind, Maiev and her watchers are in pursuit, intent on returning Illidan to his cell.

    NOTE: All internal Illidan/Gul'dan dialogue has been purple-ized for your convenience.
Quote:

Feronas was one of the few chosen Night Elves to survive the rigorous training Illidan had put them through in order to become a demon hunter. He had finished behind his comrades in all of the trials except the last. In the final trial, the apprentice demon hunters were sent to hunt a demon and absorb its essence. The test, if survived, would not only imbue the students with great power, it challenged them to make a powerful sacrifice. Once a student had absorbed a demon's life force, he or she would be forever tainted with the power of Sargeras and become a permanent pariah, as Illidan had become. Feronas was eager to make up for his failure in the past trials, and showed no hesitation as he decided to hunt down the strongest demon in Ashenvale. He returned to camp as the final initiate once again, but as all the rest had captured felguard and fel stalkers, he silenced their ridicule by presenting the body of a doomguard. All were impressed, though Illidan made clear to him the risks involved with absorbing the spirit of a powerful demon. Feronas was confident in his willpower to maintain control over the demonic spirit that would soon be within him and imbibed the demon's blood without falter. For this, he had earned the surname: Sindweller.

Now, the other demon hunters saw Feronas Sindweller as their equal, and the Satyrs bowed to them all as their masters as they had with Axxavia. But the Naga did not hold the demon hunters in high regard, and each exchange with Illidan had seen forced pleasantries from the serpentine creatures.

The demon hunters felt uneasy while riding the tumultuous waves of the Great Sea. They were all completely blind above the water and out of their element, with the only signs of life being the magical compositions of their comrades. The majority of these allies were the newly welcomed Naga that swarmed beneath and around the sailboat. On board the ship, the demon hunters felt helpless as they could do nothing but trust in these new unproven allies.

"They reek of fish..." Feronas said of the Naga to no one in particular. All of the demon hunters sat together on the deck, except for Illidan who appeared to feel more comfortable in isolation.

"I believe they are fish..." replied Alandien, who sat nearby. The sight that they had was not as keen as Illidan's, who had had years of training and adaptation in order to make out the more vivid outlines of an individual's appearance by the energy that circulates throughout their bodies.

"Highborne fish... who praise Azshara," corrected Feronas. "I don't trust them."

"But you trust me?" asked Axxavia, the Satyr leader who became the first and only of her kind to be sworn in as a demon hunter.

"Yes, you've bled with us. You rejected your former masters. These "Naga" have yet to prove their loyalty to this cause... how can we forget about the crimes committed against our kind by their queen?"

The demon hunter Altruis rose to his feet. "We can forget because we are not avengers. We are demon hunters. Our enemy is the Burning Legion, and all who oppose them are our potential allies."

The demon hunters felt a splash of water pour over them as Lady Vashj leapt from the ocean and onto the deck of the sailboat. "We are approaching the isles. I recommend you quit dawdling and prepare yourselves for a fight... the warden is not far behind. And if you like having my army around to back you up, you would do well to remember that our keen sense of hearing is no less Elven than your own."

*****

The Broken Isles were deceptively peaceful-looking. Waves that had punished the sailboat had calmed to gently caress the small strips of land. The terrain that had once been on the bottom of the ocean floor had now adapted to flourish above the sea line, only yielding to the remnants of ancient Night Elven construction. However, Illidan saw only the powerful demonic magic that emanated from within the structure that housed the artifacts of Sargeras.

Without hesitation, Illidan led his demon hunters and a small band of Naga inside the tomb, while the rest of his forces defended the entrance. It was not long before his ears caught the distant sounds of battle outside... Maiev had arrived, and sooner than expected. Still, Illidan could not be distracted from his goal. He needed his demon hunters with him in the event of the tomb's demonic guardians were awakened to defend their master's possessions.

"It is this way, Lord Illidan," Vashj said to him.

"Your kind previously occupied this tomb, so I must ask: Why was the eye not claimed for yourselves?" Illidan asked.

"We studied the artifacts and quarreled with their defenders for a very long time," Vashj explained, "But the powerful artifacts had demonic wards which we could never break. The eye could be used only by one who has been damned with the mark of Sargeras... like yourself, Lord Illidan." The last words were spoken in a derogatory tone of which Illidan noted regularly from Vashj and her Naga.

"I can feel the venom in your tone, but the words do not sting me, Lady Vashj. What Sargeras gave to me was a gift... a gift which I will one day use to end his life! Tell me, do you resent me because I am Kaldorei," replied Illidan, who softened his tone. "Or because I am a demon?"

"It doesn't matter to me what or who you are, my lord, I am merely following the orders of my beloved queen," craftily replied Lady Vashj.

Stormrage saw through her duplicity. "Do not mince words, Vashj. We are all equals here."

"Your words are without meaning, my lord. Those with power are unequaled by their subordinates," she said. "I was witness to your power back in the village of Nendis... We are not your equal."

Illidan continued to press her on the issue: "Then I order you to speak frankly."

Vashj sighed. "We have only been traveling together a short while, but I have been measuring the sort of person you are, Lord Illidan. You pretend to act in the best interests of those who follow you, but we do not exist to you until you need us. You internalize all of your thoughts, plans, and decisions, while keeping us all in the dark until you decide it is time to act. You are incompetent, selfish, and dangerous. I resent you not for being demon or Kaldorei, lord Illidan; I resent you for being who you are."

"I have heard such diatribe before; they are the words of rebels from ten thousand years ago, criticizing the rule of your Queen," Illidan quipped.

An infuriated Vashj hissed at him and raised her hand to strike, but quickly regained her clarity, restraining herself from committing an act that would undoubtedly worsen her current predicament. "I will go and stall the warden. You find your artifact. The sooner this deal you have made is over, the sooner I can return to my Queen."

As the sea witch led her Naga away to confront the approaching Maiev and her wardens, Illidan felt the spirit of Gul'dan beside him. Through scarred eyes that see only the world of magic, the lingering soul of Gul'dan had shone more brightly than Illidan had ever seen him. By either the prospect of finally acquiring the artifact he had given his life for, or the mere proximity to the location of where he took his last breath, the Orc had grown significantly in power.

Illidan had been so quick to respond to Vashj's words that they only now began to process. He wondered if her sentiments were shared amongst all who followed him. The distress alerted Gul'dan, who was audience to every thought in Illidan's mind. "Do not listen to her, Stormrage. The woman cannot comprehend your plans. She and her Naga are merely pawns we shall play to ensure a better future for your people. Do not forget that they desire to eliminate all Elf-kind."

"I have not forgotten," said Illidan. "These Naga will not have a place in the world I will build once the Burning Legion has fallen. They are... undeserving. But her words... do the others think the same of me?"

"They respect you. They fear you. You need nothing more," replied Gul'dan. "Now, pay attention! The eye of Sargeras is near."

*****

Hidden beneath the waters of a submerged corridor, Lady Vashj and her myrmidons stalked the warden Maiev and her group of Watchers that had continued to best her Naga. Slowly creeping to the surface, Vashj retrieved an arrow from her quiver and aimed for the heart of the Night Elven officer. At this distance, Vashj had every confidence that her obsidium arrows would pierce the dense armor worn by the Warden, and that she could have both killed the leader and escaped through the ruins with which she was already familiar.

Lady Vashj denocked her arrow and returned it to her quiver. Felling the warden meant Illidan's success, and Vashj could not bring herself to support Illidan's plan. Although her Queen placed trust in the demon hunter, Vashj knew that this was not in the best interest of her people. Azshara wanted revenge against Sargeras, and the praise of the Old Gods... but Vashj knew that it would come at the cost of many Naga casualties. For all to be right, Illidan had to die, and Vashj had to return to her Queen with the news that Illidan's crusade was a failure.

"You've come far enough, little warden. Your vaunted Night Elf justice has no jurisdiction here," taunted Lady Vashj.

The watchers located the sea witch and readied themselves, but Maiev signaled them to stand down. "What would you know of us or our justice, Naga witch?"

"Why my dear, we Naga were once Night Elves..." Vashj said with a grin. "We were Azshara's chosen, the Highborne - banished beneath the cruel seas when the well of eternity imploded around us!"

"Impossible!"

"Cursed, transformed... we have waited ten thousand years to retake our rightful place in the world. And now, we shall!" said Vashj as she could see the anger swelling in the eyes of the warden, Maiev.

Maiev sliced through the air with her crescent blade as she shouted at Vashj, "Not while I draw breath!"

"Your courage is commendable, but it shall avail you nothing."

Vashj was confident that she had stirred up enough anger within the warden for her to unleash upon Illidan in their inevitable encounter. As she swam away, she stayed close to the surface so as to remain seen, knowing that the Night Elves would follow her direction in the labyrinthine ruins.

*****

At last, the eye was within reach. Illidan did not need his cursed vision to see the prize he coveted: it radiated an energy that embraced him and beckoned him closer.

Gul'dan approached the altar first, his eyes transfixed upon the eye of Sargeras. Never again did he imagine that he would have gotten this close to the artifact. He reached out to grab the eye, to hold the power in his hands, but his hands went through the object. A feeling of impotence overwhelmed him. He truly realized how dependent he was in this alliance with the demon hunter. He made sure to keep his emotions hidden from his host; the Night Elf must not see any signs of weakness.

Illidan scanned the room with an uneasy feeling. "We have come all this way and encountered no demons. Where is the security? Why leave the tomb unguarded?"

Illidan heard a disturbance in the waters nearby and knew that Vashj had returned. "Because you are a demon, Lord Illidan," she said. "The eye itself is what summons defenders, but it recognizes the mark of Sargeras upon you."

"Take it! Take the eye, Stormrage," whispered Gul'dan.

As Illidan neared the eye, he heard footsteps enter the room. It was Maiev... He knew her scent, he recognized her energy, he even remembered the sounds that her armor would make every time that she moved.

The demon hunter laughed at her stubborness. "So, Warden Shadowsong, you've made it at last. I knew you would. It appears that the Naga are not as capable as I was led to believe," he said, which drew a scowl from Lady Vashj.

"You have much to pay for, Illidan," yelled Maiev. "I'm taking you back to your cell."

"Na´vetÚ does not suit you," replied Illidan. "When I consumed the power of Gul'dan's skull, I inherited his memories, especially those of this place...and the dark prize he coveted."

Maiev readied herself for whatever Illidan intended to unleash upon her. "Yes, the power of Sargeras. You would claim it as your own!"

"That power is beyond my reach, little warden," said Illidan. He reached out to the eye and held it in his hands. Its power welcomed him, and it beckoned him to unleash his fury upon all who opposed his might. "But this... the eye of Sargeras... contains all the power I'll need to rid this wretched world of my enemies once and for all. Ironic that you should be its first victim."

"You're insane!"

"Isolation can do that to the mind!" angrily replied Illidan. "Now, after all the long centuries you kept me chained in darkness, it is only fitting that I bury you in turn!"

The eye of Sargeras began to glow an emerald hue and the ground beneath them stirred violently. Maiev and her watchers searched frantically for an exit while Illidan formed a portal, allowing his team to make their own escape, while leaving the Warden and her allies trapped within the collapsing tomb.
Safely gathered outside of the ruins, Illidan's followers looked to him for their next instructions.

"If Maiev and her watchers are not crushed beneath the rubble of the Tomb of Sargeras, the demonic guardians I summoned with the eye will surely finish the job," said Illidan. "Before we strike at the frozen throne of Icecrown, we need to eliminate what remains of Maiev's watchers on these isles, lest they send word to my brother begging for reinforcements!"
I wanted to actually end this with Illidan having to flee from the Malfurion/Tyrande-reinforced Maiev... but that would have either been a really long chapter or I'd have been skipping over a lot. So that's next chapter, which is gonna be a really good one.
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Old 02-06-2012, 12:24 PM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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So Illidan was killing his students even before he went loopy?

Quote:
He had finished behind his pupils
I'm pretty sure they're 'pupils' of Illidan, not Feronas.

The newly-minted demon hunters see better under water?

For future reference, the ellipsis (...) can be used to end a sentence, but when used inside a sentece, it replaces the space like a dash.

Quote:
"Your words are without meaning, my lord. Those with power are unequaled by their subordinates," she said. "I was witness to your power back in the village of Nendis... we are not your equal."
Vashj is absolutely right about Illidan's leadership style. However, to call him a liar before the order to speak freely is more than just pushing it.

"Ideally, a leader should be both loved and feared by his people; but since this is not usually possible, it is better to be feared."
  • deceptively peaceful-looking.
  • back in the village of Nendis... We are not your equal."
  • demon or Kaldorei, Lord Illidan; I resent
  • diatribe before; they are the words of rebels

Hmmm... I hadn't pictured Vashj as that conniving. It does fit her WotA characterization, though.

I understand that working with pre-written lines is difficult, and the taunt session with Maiev is a little stilted. The start is very good, but later lines leave something to be desired. A pattern of "X said Y while Z" gets tedious very quickly and breaks up the tension of the scene. I'd split some of those details into seperate sentences.
  • group of Watchers that had continued to best her Naga.
  • follow her direction in the labyrinthine ruins.

Giving Gul'dan's inner thoughts almost feels out of place as such an enigmatic figure. Still, the following cutscene transcription is very well-done.
  • to see the prize he coveted: it radiated an energy that
  • hidden from his host; the Night Elf must not see
  • It was Maiev... He knew her scent,
  • "Na´vetÚ does not suit you," replied Illidan.
  • of this place...and the dark prize

I like this. It brings back memories. Keep it coming!
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Old 02-10-2012, 08:47 AM
C9H20 C9H20 is offline

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Awesome stuff, keep at it!

I might add a bit more meaningful response at a later date, but I just want to congratulate you on a great fic for now.
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Old 03-24-2012, 08:58 PM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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This one is late too, but the next one won't be as I already have all the dialogue written. It was originally supposed to go all the way to Illidan's exit from the Echo Isles after Furion and Tyrande show up to save Maiev, but I decided to cut it into two, possibly three parts.

I've not really flat out said it in the story, but I hope the evidence has been clear enough that Illidan has been unstable all along. He endured 10,000 years of isolation, and I can only speculate what kind of damage that would do to somebody's psyche! He's still a capable warrior, and there is still the presence of the person Illidan used to be, but the imprisonment has caused a lot of irreparable mental and emotional damage. He is socially impaired, having no one but himself to speak with for a hundred centuries. He still spends most of his time inside of his own head, as he did while locked away. Gul'dan has passed himself off as a kind of kindred spirit, convincing Illidan that they are one in the same, but of course, this is far from the truth.

The demon hunters are of course aware on some level that he is not in his right mind, but have seen both the sacrifices he has made and that he has the power to get the job done, and they still believe in him. Vashj and her Naga, however, are oblivious to Illidan's life post-WOTA.

Quote:

A mighty storm had swept over the Broken Isles. The poor visibility favored Illidan and his demon hunters. Their cursed eyes located the Warden's encampment without fail, and they had begun their assault. Although he had already acquired the eye of Sargeras, Illidan demanded the death of Maiev Shadowsong and her allies.

Two ancient protectors closely guarded the entrance into the Warden base. They were rooted deeply into the ground, unmoved by the powerful winds that had struck the island. Archers patrolled along the outside of the camp as nightsabers followed behind, looking to spot any intruder. Maiev's forces were heavily outnumbered, and could do little more than maintain a defense until reinforcements could arrive.

To the other demon hunters, Maiev might have appeared as a blob of mana, indistinguishable from the other Night Elves. Illidan, however, had grown so familiar with the sight of Maiev's life essence that he could have identified her from within a sea of other Night Elves. On this stormy night, she was nowhere to be seen.

"Axxavia," Illidan summoned, "take your Satyr to track down Maiev. No one can be allowed to leave this island until she and all of her followers are dead."

"Yes, Master." Axxavia whistled and her Satyrs rushed to her. They broke away from the group and then disappeared into the trees.

Illidan launched a green flare from his hand and into the sky, which signaled the Naga to attack. The first wave of Naga rushed to the base, but were swallowed up by the ground that surrounded the encampment. The plant life that thrived near the base extended their roots to whip and choke the the helpless Naga that had fallen into the pit.

"The warden has druids among her ranks," Altruis commented. "They have likely set many more traps."

"The druids think their power is supreme," Illidan said with a smile on his face. "We will show them the true power of the arcane!"

Illidan raised his hand into the sky once more, and a blue flare shot out from his palm and illuminated the sky. His Naga spellcasters, which were overwhelmingly female, began to cast spells together. With Vashj's aid, the Naga unleashed a whirlwind to wreak havoc within the Night Elf encampment. However, the plant-life responded to the Night Elves plight, forming a protective dome of roots and branches to shelter them from the violent magic. The Naga spellcasters continued to strike at the protective dome with their magic until they had exhausted themselves.

"We can break through this; I can break through this," Illidan confirmed.

His lieutenants grew concerned about the dangerous weather that seemed to be only strengthening. Chief among them was Alandien, the most seasoned war veteran of Illidan's pupils. "Lord Illidan, the storm is intensifying. We cannot wage war with the wardens and nature herself! We must take cover!"

The storm had most likely occured naturally, as it had strengthened gradually, and was beyond the power of lesser druids. Illidan, however, felt as though Elune conspired against him. He knew that they could not afford a prolonged battle, but even Illidan did not possess the power to combat a storm of this magnitude. They were forced to find shelter and hope to find a break in the weather soon.

With a frustrated sigh as his only acknowledgement, Illidan resigned to the shelter of what remained of the ancient temple that had housed the Eye of Sargeras. His demon hunters followed him from behind, intuitively understanding his silent order. The Naga however, were confused by Illidan's sudden retreat from the battlefield, and Vashj angrily led her people into the waters to wait out the storm.

*****

The storm continued to batter the island for the rest of the night until the sun managed to pierce its way through. Though Illidan could no longer see the sun, he could feel its warming rays kiss his skin. The sun had risen, but he was confident that Maiev and her allies would not live to see it set on this day.

With perfect timing came the return of Axxavia and her Satyr shadowdancers. The head of a certain Night Elf warden was notably lacking from their hands, which should have disappointed Illidan, but he had always been sure that fate dictated he be the one to kill her.

"Master, I am sorry," said Axxavia who knelt before him, "but the warden's runner has eluded my Satyrs, and escaped on one of the vessels that they used to travel here. The warden herself was present, but I could not best her... she moves with impossible speed! Reinforcements could already be on their way by now. What are your orders, master?"

"My orders have not changed," replied Illidan. "Maiev is still here on this island. We must eliminate Maiev and her forces, and we will do so before her reinforcements have a chance to arrive. There is no doubt in my mind that it will be Furion who comes to her call. I want to leave him nothing but corpses to view when he arrives. That will be the only warning I will leave him!"

With a sense of hearing more keen than any Night Elf, Illidan heard the slithering of Naga approaching him from behind. Lady Vashj shouted at him, "You only delay the mission!"

"I'll not be chased by this warden all over Azeroth!" he said. "Maiev must die this day, for she won't stop her pursuit until she no longer breathes."

Vashj was enfuriated. "I won't allow you to send more of my people to their deaths! My Queen did not entrust the Naga to you for your selfish vengeful pursuit!"

Illidan snapped back, "No, she entrusted the Naga to me for her own selfish vengeful pursuit! I wish Sargeras dead for the good of Azeroth, Azshara wishes Sargeras dead because he made her into a fool!"

Vashj tightly gripped a dagger she had fastened to her belt. Illidan could hear the material on its handle chafe against the Sea Witch's scales as she clasped it as tightly as she could. He knew how badly she wished to use it yet he approached her without caution. "Do you feel it, Vashj? Do you feel the flames of rebellion burning within? You don't yet know it, but you have begun to free yourself. That seething hatred that you feel for me is only a projection. The one you truly hate, above all others, is in fact your beloved Queen."

Vashj unsheathed her dagger and pointed it at Illidan's neck. His demon hunters readied their weapons, but Vashj's Naga had backed away from the dispute. "You dare try to manipulate me, Illidan Stormrage? Everything I do - and have ever done - is for the love of my Queen!"

"She is the one who has bewitched you for all of your life. Her very presence itself is an intoxicating spell, and it has begun to wear now that you are beyond her reach," Illidan said. "Think this over, Vashj, you know it to be true."

Vashj was confused, but the confusion only augmented her anger. "You believe my people are yours to dispose of, there is nothing you can say to justify this!"

Illidan nonchalantly backed away from the dagger at his throat and raised his hands into the air. "Then let them speak up!" He pointed to the crowd of Naga that had watched and listened to the entire ordeal. "Refuse my orders... I encourage it!" He gave the Naga time to speak, but they remained silent. He returned to face the tip of Vashj's dagger. "Still they are subservient, because they remain tethered to their queen, who has delegated their command unto me. But they believe in my mission, as do you, Lady Vashj. There is no future for Azshara. Only through me will you find your place in Azeroth. You will understand this someday. You all will."

Vashj swallowed her anger and put her dagger away. "I will never serve you, and I will never betray my queen. My queen would never have supported you to lead this mission had she been aware of your incompetence. We will return to her and inform her that you have failed. She will hear how your ineptitude resulted in your death upon the battlefield, and the failure of this mission. By the time we have reached Nazjatar, it will be the truth."

Vashj turned around, but found the demon hunter Alandien blocking her path. She awaited Illidan's command. "My Lord?"

"Let her pass," Illidan replied. "Vashj must choose her own path, as we all have."

Lady Vashj continued on as Alandien stepped aside, but as she slithered away she noticed that her Naga only stared while merely a handful had followed her. Vashj looked to her allies with bewilderment. "Serpentra... Naj'entus... Serena? You all wish to give your lives to this Night Elf?" They did not answer, so Vashj shrugged it off. "So be it."

Illidan was pleased that he had lost only a few Naga. Bewitched slaves or not, he required their assistance if he hoped to eliminate Maiev and her forces. However, he could feel strong disapproval from his mind's roommate - the Orcish warlock, Gul'dan.

"You display weakness here, Stormrage," he said. "You do not need thinkers in your army! Do you not recall our earlier conversation where you referred to these Naga as being 'undeserving'? Destroy those serpents to garauntee the loyalty of the others!"

"If Axxavia can change, then it stands to reason that so too can Vashj and her Naga."

"Illidan and his army of thinkers," Gul'dan said mockingly. "You need to tighten the leashes of your subordinates, Stormrage, lest they decide to take that rope and strangle you with it someday."

"I have nothing to fear. I've never given them a reason to betray me," Illidan responded.

"You na´ve fool," Gul'dan replied, "they will find a reason."
Next chapter will not be too long.
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  #40  
Old 03-24-2012, 09:02 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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"They will find a reason."

I like it.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:52 AM
DarkAngel DarkAngel is offline

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Still working on this? You had me thinking you'd given up! Good, good.

Is 'warden' a proper noun or not? Also, wasn't Maiev's organization called the Watchers?

Actually, I like your version better...
  • entrance into the Warden's base.
  • to whip and choke the helpless Naga
  • The storm had most likely occurred naturally,

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyJP View Post
He knew how badly she wished to use it yet he approached her without caution.
'Yet' implies contrast between the two clauses; and for the record, there should be a comma in there too.

"You know it to be true?" A dangerous phrase to use...

Generally, speaking of a queen generically would be a common noun, but I gave Vashj a pass because Azshara is such a god-like figure. Still, make sure she does it consisently.
  • Vashj was infuriated.
  • are yours to dispose of; there is nothing you can say
  • you referred to these Naga as being 'undeserving?'
  • Destroy those serpents to guarantee

Well, that was much shorter than you usually make it. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work!
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  #42  
Old 05-15-2012, 02:09 PM
Kir the Wizard Kir the Wizard is offline

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Andy, I want more chapters!
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  #43  
Old 05-15-2012, 04:07 PM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kir the Wizard View Post
Andy, I want more chapters!
I know, I know.

I have nearly all of the dialogue for the next chapter written, but I was really lagging in the comic and that takes priority over this since I keep a regular schedule with that.

So I haven't abandoned it, and it won't take me very long to complete the chapter when I get to it... which will be whenever I get a comfortable lead on the comic again.
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Old 06-11-2012, 11:01 AM
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I am happy to be reading this, this gives me a back story to the game. Especially helpful when playing wow. never really knew the story, this I could get into. I need more!
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Old 06-20-2012, 10:38 AM
Royalpimp Royalpimp is offline

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I wish you'd regain your spark and continue this and your webcomic. Hope you will someday.
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Old 06-30-2012, 06:44 AM
RobLore RobLore is offline

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I loved reading this and hope that you will complete it some day!
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  #47  
Old 07-02-2012, 11:48 AM
Slaman Slaman is offline

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Quote:
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I loved reading this and hope that you will complete it some day!
Same.
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Old 07-17-2012, 02:54 AM
AndyJP AndyJP is offline

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As it is right now, I don't have an inkling of interest in warcraft anymore. I regret not finishing these, but it was getting harder and harder to work on them because of that. Maybe I just need a break, I'm not sure. I can't say that I won't ever come back to them.
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  #49  
Old 07-17-2012, 10:33 AM
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Quote:
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As it is right now, I don't have an inkling of interest in warcraft anymore. I regret not finishing these, but it was getting harder and harder to work on them because of that. Maybe I just need a break, I'm not sure. I can't say that I won't ever come back to them.
It's still good to finish it, just focus on the story and idea may pop out.

I also lost interest of WC but some of the characters are still cool.
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Old 07-19-2012, 02:51 PM
Kir the Wizard Kir the Wizard is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyJP View Post
As it is right now, I don't have an inkling of interest in warcraft anymore. I regret not finishing these, but it was getting harder and harder to work on them because of that. Maybe I just need a break, I'm not sure. I can't say that I won't ever come back to them.
A break works just fine. Interests in different kinds of entertainment may as well be seasonal.
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