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Old 03-21-2012, 09:20 AM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost Expedition #01: Storm Peaks

It was a long voyage and a longer journey that took the Seven Dwarves of the Royal and Most Illustrious Explorers' League's first expedition to their digsite. On the sea, a storm tossed their ship about as though it were made of something easily tossed about, and Erthad Ironbrow was violently ill. All the others laughed at him.

Then, upon reaching the frozen land of Northrend, the party was met by a ravening band of Walrus-men. Seeing no other option, the team cut down the rotund abominations and toiled their slow, weary way toward the Storm Peaks in the north.

After many days, they found themselves at the digsite Lord Brann Bronzebeard had designated to them. It was an enormous mountain, dotted here and there with withered trees. An icy stream flowed along the edge of a stretch of flat ground at its base.

Then the giants attacked.

Well, perhaps not giants. Not quite so large as that. Overlarge humans might be a more accurate description. They appeared as if from nowhere, and attacked the party. After a long and bloody battle, the Tall Folk lay dead, but so did dear old Canon Foddersson.

Their numbers and hearts thus reduced, the team began to work.

Strike the earth!
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Old 03-21-2012, 09:27 AM
SmokeBlader SmokeBlader is offline

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If you are going to write fan fiction at least write longer pages instead of making so many goddamn threads.
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Old 03-21-2012, 11:10 AM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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Originally Posted by SmokeBlader View Post
If you are going to write fan fiction at least write longer pages instead of making so many goddamn threads.
Have you been following at all? This is a roleplaying game he has set up, not a usual fanfiction. And how does it bother you that he makes alot of threads? It's not like he's cluttering the forum or anything, the fanfiction sub forum is basically dead but for him.
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Old 03-21-2012, 02:54 PM
Volkrin Volkrin is offline

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I guess I'll try writing an entry here then

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From the journal of Volkrin Volkrinsson, two weeks after landfall.

Light and Titans this place is cold. I took a piss this morning and it felt like my urethra was experiencing an ice age. Your breath freezes to ice shards as it leaves your mouth and I'm pretty sure I saw icicles dangling from Ironbrow's nose.

The ground's permafrost down to the stone, and we had to break out the picks just to dig a latrine at our base camp. On the bright side, the effort keeps me warm. Or maybe that's just the Rockfucker's engine overheating. I'll have to check up on that later, I don't want a repeat of the Arathi incident.

The walrus meat we gathered after landfall is just about run out, and thank the light for it I say. It was too fatty for my taste, though I admit the veal was pretty good. I'll ask Coalshank about bringing down a few mammoths so we can get some fresh meat.

As far as initial digging goes, we're still in the planning stages. We have to be careful digging around here, from what I've heard it seems like every other mountain is some ancient abandoned Titan complex full of all manners of automated defenses, and that's when some delightful new variety of bestial abomination hasn't made its lair there.

Right now I'm thinking some general probing efforts into the mountain face will be safe enough... but just for caution's sake we should probably dig the initial tunnels a fair distance from our base. If we place it downwind we can even put the warlock on guard duty there, everyone wins.

Last edited by Volkrin; 03-21-2012 at 05:49 PM..
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Old 03-21-2012, 03:02 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

As the six remaining Dwarves unpacked their supplies, Richard Chandler discovered that his attempt to smuggle Slowponichu up north was not as successful as he might have hoped. The simpleminded companion had not survived the trip, and his duffelbag now smelled of offal and rot.

Oh, well.
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Old 03-21-2012, 03:42 PM
Lowtide Lowtide is offline

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<Mammoths>
Dagnors scoffs.
<Sure, declare the guy without depth perception as the hunter. Brilliant>
He shields his eye from the blinding white no dwarfs land stretching out before him.
<Still better than dangling from a noose>
With a frown he looks over the equipment, glancing over to Volkrin who seems to be inspecting some arcane machinery toiling away in the frozen ground, and the guards who stand shivering in the cold.
He turns his gaze back to the gear and grabs the bladed shovel, turns it in his hands and gives it an approving look.
<Whatever a mammoth is, beating it over the head enough should do the trick.>
And off he goes.

Dagnor returns a few hours later, the armor roughed up and slightly bleeding from a few scratches on his hands, implying a hasty retreat involving falling and slipping. In his right hand, several bloody pulps dotted with patches of white fur, identifiable as rabbits only by the long ears.
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Old 03-21-2012, 06:27 PM
HalfElfDragon HalfElfDragon is offline

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Valabelle

Valabelle sighs disappointedly at Dagnor's meager haul. With a quick wave of her hand she sealed up his flesh wounds. But the real damage was no doubt to his ego, and she couldn't heal that even if she wanted to. She hefted her hammer over her shoulder and grunted. The paladin ventured out into the snow with a start.

"If ye want something done right..." Valabelle whispered to herself.

Paying close attention to detail, she noticed tracks through the snow. Cloven feet, likely a ram of some sort. Plant-life was sparse at these altitudes, affording Valabelle little cover from the weather. The pure white of the snow contrasted oddly with the ashen color of her skin. She heard a breathing sound and looked up to see the ram, which had found her before she had found it.

The beast charged rapidly, but Valabelle dispatched it with a heavy swing of her hammer. She dragged it behind her back to camp. The crushed skull of the ram left a trail of blood in the snow. The paladin knew too well to think that would be without consequence, but food was the priority. As she reached camp, she threw it down near the fire. She pointed her hammer at Revarist.

"Make yuirself useful, lassie."
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Old 03-21-2012, 06:49 PM
Erthad Erthad is offline

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In these past two weeks Erthad's primary tasks have been standing guard over the camp while it was assembled, and scouting the nearby land for enemies and good mining sites.

Erthad wasn't sure which was worse. Watching over the camp was a dull job. It didn't involve much movement which caused the cold to be even more torturous. The cold was so bad that his helmet became frozen to his head, and icicles glued to his nose and beard. He thought that he was successfully able to hide these things from the others. The best thing about standing watch over the camp was that he could completely block out the winds with the use of his tower shield.

The camp itself was came along well. They used rock, snow, and lumber to create walls that protected the camp from the howling winds, and crafted a covered area to sleep at night. The latrine was built around 40 feet outside of the camp.

Scouting was not as boring or cold but it was certainly more dangerous. He would go 3 days without incedant but the next day the Vrykul, as they called themselves, would be waiting for him. The attacks were never very large but they were still annoying. He had also discovered an ice troll village, a giant's den, an Iron Dwarf lair, a bullman's camp, and an orcish fortress in the nearby valleys.

The most significant discovery that he made while scouting were two good cave complexes fairly close to their camp that they could begin expanding. The first was a small cave but it was closer, the second cave was larger but much further away.

Erthad favored starting with the smaller cave, but he wanted the group to decide which to begin mining on.

When Erthad returned he was glad to see that they would not be eating even more walrusmen.
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Old 03-21-2012, 08:22 PM
Malygos Malygos is offline

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After Canon Foddersson was slain, Mal took the iniative to retrieve the culinary tools since he knew that the group needed cook. What he was not expecting was that the role would be relegated to him.

Sighing, he removed his wizard's hat and donned his late companion's hat and apron. This is when things get bloody. Borrowing a knife, he proceeded to skin the ram. Next he butchered the carcass into several proportions so that there would be more area to add spice. Afterwards, he created a makeshift spit and secured the meat onto it, while putting the rest of the meat in the snow.

Quite a large ram, Mal thought while cooking it. By the time Erthad returned from scouting, Mal was done.

"Hope you like it and if you don't, feel free to take a shot at it."
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Old 03-21-2012, 08:31 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

After two weeks, a small rectangular hall has been dug out of the mountain. The bedrolls have been placed there with the cooking equipment. Outside, there are a few workshops, shielded by Tuskarr-skin tents from the elements. There is a butcher's shop, a stonemason's shop, a carpentry shop, a small forge, a bonfire and the beginning of a monument to the majesty of the Ashidur. A low wooden fence protects the boundary of the encampment.

The Rockfucker's third phlange rotor starts to spin uncontrollably as the incircular thim plates heat to dangerous levels.

One of the savage Tuskarr approaches from the South. He leads a bound Bullman, presumably an offering of peace.

A wild blizzard appears!

Last edited by Mustrum; 03-24-2012 at 07:11 PM..
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Old 03-21-2012, 09:05 PM
Volkrin Volkrin is offline

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My next one:

Quote:
From the journal of Volkrin Volkrinsson, two weeks and a day after landfall.

Whelp, the Rockfucker's... well... fucked. In the well and truly sense.

One of the aboriginal butterballs showed up earlier towing this cow-man-thing behind him and we all assembled to meet with him.

Now look here, I'm no diplomat, I never said I was and if they wanted one on this mission they could have picked someone else. When confronted with a problem my first instinct is to dig, my second is to blow something up, and my third is to accomplish the first via the second (hence the invention of the RFXT).

So when this fat bastard came trundling up to our camp jolly as could be I revved up the Rockfucker and pointed it at him. As a show of force, you know? Well, turns out those funny noises it was making earlier weren't just my imagination. You know how I didn't want a repeat of the Arathi Incident? Well there wasn't one. I'm calling this one the Storm Peaks fiasco.

Something caused the nitroglycerin tank to explode. I don't know what, I don't know how, it just did. One moment I'm standing there gallantly, Fucker at the ready and facing down the primitive lardball with all of the impacts per minute civilization has to offer, when suddenly the tank goes nuclear.

Well, okay, it was still a chemical reaction, but you know what I mean.

I get blasted back ten yards and the drilling head goes shooting out of the barrel like a lightblighted rocket. When I came to my head was ringing, I tasted blood, and every bone in my body felt like I'd just had carnal relations with an ogress.

Oh, by the by, if you can't tell I'm writing this with my left hand, which I will continue to do until our dearest healer can see it in her heart to returning the charred claw currently capping off my right wrist to something resembling a proper dwarven appendage.

There was a bright side to it though. While the six of us were splayed out dazed (I assume everyone else was dazed, admittedly I wasn't really in much shape to see), that blubbery abomination unto the light's good graces and the titan's plan could have slit our throats at his leisure. Or tusked our throats. Whatever those people do.

The reason he didn't, from what I can gather through that slurred embarrassment those creatures call an accent, is that he took our slaughter of the tinka (I think that's the name) as a sign we accepted his peace offering. Turns out when the drilling head went flying off it popped the shaggy oaf right between the eyes.

So on the plus side, we're having steak tonight. On the downside, the fat one isn't leaving. I can't very well force him with my hand like this, and due to the painkillers I'm on (read: my own special brew of whiskey and napalm) I can barely string three sentences together verbally, so ordering the team to do so is a bit of a bugger.

I'll just have to wait and hope he leaves. If he doesn't I shudder to think what'll happen to us. I was finally getting the taste of blubber out of my mouth too...
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Old 03-21-2012, 11:36 PM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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What had he done?! How could this happen! Slowponichu, his most loyal friend and obedient sex slave was now dead, all because of him!

He coiled up into a fetal position, cradling the dead companion in his arms. Manly tears of remorse ran in a slow stream down his face, freezing on his cheeks giving him an icy look. Slowponichu looked so peaceful. So happy. Richard slowly bent over the tiny frame, putting his lips to it's mouth and kissing it.

He sat like that for a couple of minutes, feeling out Slowponichu's tongue with his own. Such a passionate lover he was. Slowponichu's ass cheeks made a flopping sound as he did his business. He finished up quickly and left the tent. He needed a new soul - some fresh 'meat'.
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:15 AM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

The angry ghost of Canon Foddersson appears!

Last edited by Mustrum; 03-22-2012 at 02:55 PM..
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:53 AM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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The angry ghost of Canon Foddersson appears!
Quick, knee him in the groin!
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Old 03-22-2012, 10:38 AM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

Killchrono uses Knee to the Groin!

It's not very effective...

Canon Foddersson's Angry Ghost uses Tear Off Arm!

It's super effective!!

Killchrono begins to bleed profusely from where his arm used to be...

Canon Foddersson's Angry Ghost disappears!

Last edited by Mustrum; 03-22-2012 at 02:55 PM..
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:28 AM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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Use time abilities to either go back in time and prevent yourself from doing the same mistake or go forward in time where they've come up with some sort of magical arm replacements.
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Old 03-22-2012, 12:17 PM
Malygos Malygos is offline

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*time-lapse

Freeze the spirit. Then berate him for dying so fast.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:55 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

Killchrono's attempts to travel through time come to a tragic end when he accidentally forgets to take into account the rotation of Azeroth, and emerges from the time stream only to find himself trapped inside a mountain.

Where he suffocates.

And dies.

His body is found several centuries later by a rather more competent band of Dwarven Archaeologists. They don't consider him interesting enough to study, so they smash his petrified skeleton and continue digging.

------------------------------------------

Mal manages to subdue the ghost by trapping it in a magical prison. He then berates the angry dead for being a flimsy little pansy girl in life. Canon Foddersson manages to express through a ceaseless stream of rants and threats that he is pissed off because his body hasn't been given a proper burial.
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:11 PM
HalfElfDragon HalfElfDragon is offline

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Valabelle

Valabelle raises her eyebrow.

"Mal, who did ye have take care of Canon's body?"

"I think the warlock was taking care of it?"

"Ye idget," Valabelle covered her face with her palm. "I've got to do everything around here..."

Valabelle found Canon's corpse and set the others to work on digging a deep grave. They buried the body and Valabelle said a Lightist prayer for the dead over the burial site.

"'bout time," Canon's ghost whispered as he began to fade away...
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Old 03-22-2012, 04:42 PM
Volkrin Volkrin is offline

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I hate the forced character minimum

Quote:
From the journal of Volkrin Volkrinsson, two weeks and two days after landfall.

I heard yelling. Something about a ghost and the warlock, I'm not entirely sure. It's getting kind of hard to pay attention to the here and now. Blackhammer still hasn't healed up my hand, and I'm still self medicating.

I'm actually getting rather worried. I could swear I saw Foddersson a few hours ago. I might be hallucinating.

Anyways, I started on plans for a new Rockfucker design. The nitro tank will be better insulated, both from temperature and impacts, so a repeat of The Fiasco is unlikely. I hope.

I'm also planning on incorporating some of the local ore into the design. It's this Blueish-green metal that I've seen poking up through the earth here and there as we've traveled. The name escapes me right now, but I do remember it's pretty tough stuff. I'm sure incorporating it into my design can end in nothing but success.
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Old 03-22-2012, 05:28 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

Just as things were settling down, a band of large, blue Dwarf-like creatures arrived from the North.

They waved and the largest among them called out something in a strange tongue. If any of the Expedition Dwarves had been a linguist, they might have recognized it as a variation on an ancient Dwarven dialect. As it is, they heard only rumbly, grumbly noise.
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:00 PM
HalfElfDragon HalfElfDragon is offline

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Valabelle notices Volkrin feebly waving back to the blue dwarves and heals his hand.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:54 PM
Mustrum Mustrum is offline

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Orb of Frost

The Blue Dwarves approach.
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Old 03-23-2012, 01:28 PM
Malygos Malygos is offline

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Greet them with universal hand gestures because no one here is a linguist. Also bring the Tuskarr along incase there is a need to bail.
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Old 03-23-2012, 06:29 PM
Lon-ami Lon-ami is offline

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Hey! I'm your tuskarr guide! Pleased to help you!

Now we're going to move towards that hole and jump inside. Everything will be fine.
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