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Old 06-24-2012, 06:07 PM
Revenant Revenant is offline

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Talking The Ghost of Sanity: The Story of a Sea Pig Revenant

This is my roleplaying biography. It explains just what sea pigs have to with revenants in Warcraft, and where my character came from. I wrote most of it years ago, I still feel its quality is not up to my personal standards, but I might as well post it anyway. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

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Chapter 1

At the dawn of Azeroth's creation... or maybe sometime after it (it was young, okay?), a war between the Titans and the Old Gods raged. The Old Gods rallied their most powerful elemental lieutenants to drive the Titans back. Those lieutenants, lords to those under them, led their armies against the god-like metallic invaders. This story centers upon a minion of Neptulon, commander of the forces of water.

Deep within Azeroth's primal oceans, in a reef made of nightmares, water spontaneously coalesced and personified itself into a coherent humanoid form.

A water revenent, an elemental foot soldier of the Old Gods, formed and faded into existence. A normal water revenant was a being armored with broken pots in a parody of both metalworking and fountains. Such order was the domain of the Titans, not the Old Gods, and so countering the Titans with such perversions was fitting.

However, this revenant was different. It was a parody of a parody; A monument to the inconsistency stereotypical of chaos, and decidedly opposed to the decidedly ironic non-chaotic homogeneousness of total chaos. Instead of an armored fountain, what appeared was a clumsy blob of water, armed with the standard armaments of its fellows (though wielded incorrectly), but differing greatly beyond that. On what could be considered its shoulders, pauldrons of sea shells and sea life rested, and where its head should be, there was a sea pig.

A sea pig is a type of deep sea cucumber found in the chaotic depths of Azeroth's seas. This particular sea pig frolicked in the way that sea pigs do, occasionally sucking on random things as sea pigs do, until it wandered too close to the birthplace of an elemental. This sea pig was now the head of a soldier fighting for the self-proclaimed gods of chaos.

The revenant blinked and determined that it had eyes. A voice echoed within its mind (that it now knew that it had).

Awaken my child, and embrace the glory that is your birthright. Know that we are the Old Gods; the eternal will of Chaos, and that you have been created to serve us.

Behold that we shall set you amongst the greatest of our servants, that you might benefit from their wisdom and experience. Yet your purpose is unique. While they carry forth our will to the unstoppable forces of chaos, you have but sanity entrusted to your care.

The revenant had its first coherent thought.

LOLWUT.

The voice of the Old Gods continued.

You are the ghost of sanity... a vengeful spirit made up of all the sanity that we have managed to steal unaltered from the usurpers thus far. You are our antithesis, formed to be the first of many to oppose us so that the world is forever in conflict. You were created to use sanity against the Titans, and to be a force of creation to offset destruction, so that chaos can continue indefinitely.

The revenant postulated on the nature of revenant for a moment, finding that it knew a great deal of how the chaotic world worked. It also noticed that its thoughts had a great deal of clarity. And it noticed that it knew what clarity was. And noticing things. And sentence fragments.

To the voice in its head, it asked:

Isn't that was the opposing elemental lords are for?

The voice, without words, shot the revelation that insanity did not have to make sense into him. This hurt the newly-born sanity elemental. A lot. Recovering, it coalesced once more and straightened its cranial echinoderm.

The voice gone, it surveyed the trench it was in, and was driven towards the surface for reasons it knew not.

On the surface, Aggramar and Golganneth blew apart a twisted continent of elementium as tentacles flailed in the distance. All was chaos, but not for long if the war kept going the way it was. The revenant saw one of them smash an army of its fellow revenants with a single stomp of a giant metallic foot.

"Imma go hit that!" The revenant quipped with glee as it floated away, holding its mace-like object a bit above its head and raising its shield in some attempt to look menacing. It was a reflex really. It happened whenever it moved.

The revenant knew its purpose. It knew its target. These horizon-spanning giants would be engaged and dealt with in the names of the voices in its head!

Moments later, the revenant was now flat.


Bad image editing action!
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The Green Shirt Guy: Hello. I have- I just finished reading stuff yesterday... and I noticed something. It said that Kul Tiras was going to be in the Alliance, but in the beta it's gone, and Kul Tiras is not in the game at all. What happened to it?

Chris Metzen: Isn't Kul Tiras burning in slag? ...from, uh, Blood of Our Fathers? ...No?

The Green Shirt Guy: No, it survived, and, in fact, it is- was around off-screen in vanilla WoW and through Wrath of the Lich King.

Chris Metzen: Right, of course. Uh. Yeah, Fargo, what's up with that?
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  #2  
Old 06-24-2012, 06:35 PM
Royalpimp Royalpimp is offline

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Poor Revenant got squashed by those metal dicks. Those titans really must have advanced technology to be able to squash water!

Anywho, I liked it and I hope to see more. To be honest I've been wondering how you good you were as a fanfic writer for almost 2 years.
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Old 06-24-2012, 06:50 PM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenant View Post
The revenant had its first coherent thought.

LOLWUT.
Heh. I like your style. A few typo's here and there, but nothing major. Eagerly awaiting chapter 2.
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Old 06-24-2012, 07:32 PM
Revenant Revenant is offline

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Chapter 2

It was dead, but the revenant would survive as long as sanity did, and sanity was increasing on the fledgling world with every titan advance.

However, it reformed too late. The titans had won. Old God and minion lie broken and chained. The raging elementals had no place in the Titans' order, and so they were banished. The titans had constructed four luxurious prisons for the elemental lords and their minions, and the revenant was sent to its.

The revenant woke up in a room sometime later. It was a nice room, full of water and a reef. However, this reef was not like revenant knew. It was alien and decidedly not purple and amorphic. Or trying to kill the revenant. This scared it, but the revenant decided that it liked it.

"Soldier!" a voice boomed, "What do you think you are doing liking that wall!? The lesser elements rally against us! Ragnaros has already eaten the eldest son of Al'Akir!"

The revenant abruptly turned its solid parts toward the commanding voice. Standing before him was a mass of solid water. A pair of magical bracers forced the mass into a coherent humanoid form. Revenant knew this somehow.

The form yelled again. "Well? Get to your post! I am Baron Hydraxis and I have been charged by our lord to defend our prison! Serve water!"

What followed was a series of training and war montages.

The revenant spent the next ten thousand years guarding the endless ocean that it and its kin had been sent to. After countless years of revenanting, which mostly involved wandering around in small groups and attacking whatever enemies from the other elemental planes wandered too close. As millennia passed, the boundaries between the planes started to weaken, and small elemental entities could freely return to the world that was taken from them.

The revenant, who had named itself Revenant in the interim since its banishment, had been (for its coherentness and expendability) selected as an advance scout back to what was now "Azeroth". It was certainly easier to pronounce than K͓͇̙ͧě͔̩̹̝̪͙͈ͨ̉̃̓̕r̠͕̻ͫ́f̨̬̼̱̳̩̘̰l̛̰̜̰͚̯̝uͩ̾̋ͥ̐̅͢ ̭̤̞̱̟̜g͉̔ģ̱̞ͧͦ̅̄ͨ̒ḻ̘͍͖̼ͤͨ́e̱̟̬͖͒͛̋̃̈ͫ̈́͡z̹̟̠̺̥͋̀̍ ̮͚û̪̹̟̬̭̘̌͊̕f̪̼̔̍͝j̲͕̦̰̩̬̏̎̈͆̓̈ͣ͢w͙̒̏̋͐̂e̲ͬ̌̚bͭ̓̔ ̜̘͓̭͙̞̝ͦ͑f͗ȃ͈̻͎̥a͛ͮ͊̉͋̽ͬaͮh͚͎̲͉ͨ͢d̡̥̬͉̗̈̆ģ̬́͆͌͋ͮ ̣̲̻̫̝h̛͇͕̳̜̰͕͉͊̒ͬ͑ḭ̬̯̟̖̝̤̈́aͥ̑̓̉.

Having proven himself in the battles that raged within the elemental plane, the now Duke Hydraxis (what, who did you think this sentence was about?) pointed to the portal. Revenant obeyed.

The boundaries between the elemental and material planes are weakest at their respective element, and the frozen continent of Northrend had many secrets. Titan devices and rich resource nodes provided an environment ideal for elemental summoning. Revenant materialized in a lake. It looked around, as it had a habit of doing when it was standing still, and saw some buildings. They were orderly, with clean lines and smooth surfaces. Sane and orderly. It would feast upon this sanity!

As it moved towards the tiered structures, a massive stone foot came out of nowhere and punted him miles away. It was not sure how it could eat a building anyway.

Quote:
Day 1164837:
New Kick the Revenant record today. This one was not like the others. It had squishy bits.
-ARCHAVON

Punting not to scale.
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The Green Shirt Guy: Hello. I have- I just finished reading stuff yesterday... and I noticed something. It said that Kul Tiras was going to be in the Alliance, but in the beta it's gone, and Kul Tiras is not in the game at all. What happened to it?

Chris Metzen: Isn't Kul Tiras burning in slag? ...from, uh, Blood of Our Fathers? ...No?

The Green Shirt Guy: No, it survived, and, in fact, it is- was around off-screen in vanilla WoW and through Wrath of the Lich King.

Chris Metzen: Right, of course. Uh. Yeah, Fargo, what's up with that?

Last edited by Revenant; 06-24-2012 at 07:40 PM..
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  #5  
Old 06-25-2012, 06:21 AM
Nozdormu Nozdormu is offline

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I'm not entirely sure where the story is heading, but I'm not saying no to some random sea pig cuteness. Keep 'em coming.
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  #6  
Old 06-25-2012, 05:36 PM
Revenant Revenant is offline

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Sorry, not a chapter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nozdormu View Post
I'm not entirely sure where the story is heading,
I am adding more to it to try and make sure that there is a point to what is going on at any given time.
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The Green Shirt Guy: Hello. I have- I just finished reading stuff yesterday... and I noticed something. It said that Kul Tiras was going to be in the Alliance, but in the beta it's gone, and Kul Tiras is not in the game at all. What happened to it?

Chris Metzen: Isn't Kul Tiras burning in slag? ...from, uh, Blood of Our Fathers? ...No?

The Green Shirt Guy: No, it survived, and, in fact, it is- was around off-screen in vanilla WoW and through Wrath of the Lich King.

Chris Metzen: Right, of course. Uh. Yeah, Fargo, what's up with that?
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