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Old 04-03-2014, 09:24 AM
BaronGrackle BaronGrackle is offline

Echo of the Past
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Texas, USA
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"Come. Let us show them why we bear the name Stormreaver."

Gul'dan extended his arms level to the horizon. He spread his fingers and reached out his essence, stretching to touch the ocean surrounding them all. His mouth curled into a smile. The elements in Azeroth were so... so different than those on Draenor. They were open, unresisting, weak in will. And yet, simultaneously, they wielded such indomitable physical power. Gul'dan's fellow warlocks gathered beside him--the handful of orcs who had escaped the purges, along with the scores of newly-formed death knights and ogre-magi. His progeny. Just as they had together lifted the Tomb from the ocean floor, so now they stirred the surrounding waters into a frenzy. The whirlpools took on an almost magnetic quality, pulling drops and then deluge from the blackening clouds above. Yes, the very sky itself turned dark, unable to deny the manifestation below. For a brief moment, Gul'dan remembered the rush he had once felt as a young shaman. For what was godhood, if not the heavens bowing to the will of the earth?

Beside him, Cho'gall extended his own arms. "Brothers, let us take part in this taste of oblivion!"
"Taste! See! Smell! Oblivion all, oblivion always!"

The ogre-magi and death knights of the Twilight's Hammer took their places beside the Stormreavers, contributing their power to the storm before them. The sea rose against the Blackrock fleet on the distant isle, in furious tidal waves. Cho'gall continued speaking over the deafening cacophony.

"Brothers! We, the Twilight's Hammer, the world's instrument of its own devastation..."
"Wield the hammer! Be the hammer!"
"...sparing neither animal nor plant, nor even matter already dead."
"Shoes, ships, ceiling wax! Cabbages and kings!"
"For when the sea turns boiling hot..."
"And if the sea is boiling hot..."
"...the land shall quake in its final death throes!"
"...and whether fish have tusks!"
"The sun shall swell, then falter, and then fall like all else."
"Sunday Sunday Sunday! Come one come all!"
"As inevitably as it rises and set in our current age."
"Tickets on sale now! Buy a bundle and scalp 'em at the gates! Don't trust the economy!"
"We shall carry with us the many waters as one single body, to cleanse from this world all impurities!"
"Full body cleanse! Like eating an orange peel! Defecate that sucker out!"
"And existence itself, thus broken, will not be even capable of pleading for clemency."
"Feces, feces everywhere! Chunks on your face and your clothes!"
"Which is just as well, for there can be no mercy from the inevitable."
"Filthy, disgusting feces! On your skin and your teeth!"

Finally the storm ran its course, leaving only wreckage where the Blackrock fleet had been. Cho' turned, quizzically regarding his counterpart.

"Gul'dan, I think something's wrong with my other head."

"What? Let me see," Gul'dan answered. With both hands, he brought down his goat staff to **SMACK** Cho's head. Then he **SMACKED** the head with his staff again, in a backhand motion. "How's that?"

"Oww! What in all the hells?!"
"Hells and bells and puppy-dog tails!"
"Why'd you hit me with your stupid staff?!"
"Stupidity and emptiness! All knowledge is folly!"

"Let this be a lesson, Cho'gall. In the future, try to make your loser head be more like this winner here." Gul'dan gestured to the one-eye, beak-nosed head.

"This is ridiculous."
"Ridiculous! Foolhardy! Also kind of awesome!"
"We should return to the task at hand."
"A task at hand is worth two in the bush!"
"Look, Doomhammer's warriors are wrecked and vulnerable on that distant isle, and we could easily finish them by combining our forces. It shall be simple, for they are already landlocked. I can..."

"Silence!" Gul'dan screamed, bringing his goat-cane down in a deliberate motion to **SMACK** Cho' in the face once again. One of the ogre's teeth skipped across the dirt and landed in the sea. Another item, a small orb, also fell out of his beltpouch. Gul'dan eyed it suspiciously. "And what is this, pray tell?"

Cho'gall was rubbing the side of his Cho' face, which had begun to swell. "It is a Soulstone, my master. Of course you recognize it."

"Of course I do," Gul'dan agreed. "Why do you have one? Do you fear death?"

Cho'gall shrugged. "Master, none of us knows what fate lies in store this expedition."
"Destruction! Annihilation! Obliteration! All ends in oblivion, sweet oblivion!"
"Maybe our unarmed ships would sink beneath the sea. Maybe I'd take an axe to the chest. I just wanted a little insurance in case things go poorly."
"Insurance for the poor! Tax credits, roth IRAs, ignorant dreams of social security!"

Gul'dan nodded. "Very true, Cho'gall. It is of utmost importance to prepare for the worst. And that is why I'm confiscating this." He snatched Soulstone with a greedy vigor. "Now," Gul'dan turned to face the assembled Stormreaver and Twilight's Hammer Clans, holding his new stone so that everyone could see. "Who else brought one of these?"

I turned out 7 others had a Soulstone on them. Gul'dan confiscated them with little fanfare.

"Master, the choice still stands before us. Do we finish off the Blackrock dogs once and for all? Do we leave them behind and continue into the Tomb? Shall we stay together, or separate our forces to cover both objectives?

"Cho'gall, my eager student. Did you believe I had not already planned for this?!" Gul'dan turned to face one of his warlocks. "Drak'thul, the time has come: RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"

The young warlock dipped his head obediently. "Yes, master! RELEASING THE KRAKEN!!!"

"Kraken? What's a kraken?"
"Kraken, flaken, braken, schlaken, mrak--"
"Shut up! Dear gods shut up, so help me . . ."

Then, from beneath the tides, the creature revealed itself.

"Whoa-hoa, ha ha!"

"I know, right? Pretty awesome!" Drak'thul snorted.

Gul'dan rubbed his hands together deviously. "Now behold, my minions, as this mighty kraken finishes off the final remains of Doomhammer's forces on yonder isle. Bwa. Bwa-ha, ha! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"

Cho' rubbed his swelling cheek and didn't say anything. Yet, somehow, Gul'dan could feel the questions silently in the air. Would the kraken really go after the Blackrocks on that distant isle, instead of just turning around and attacking his own forces? How many of their resources had this kraken cost them? If he planned to use a kraken all along, why did he expend so much magic on that epic storm a few mere minutes ago? Wouldn't he need some of that magical energy or some of those resources to face the horrors of Sargeras's tomb? Was there anything living under the seas here, any foreign creature or race that could be angered or awakened by the storm and the kraken's release? And weren't they just around the corner from Kul Tiras, the island nation that had held naval supremacy since the beginning of the war?

Of course these were all stupid questions, so Gul'dan didn't dwell on them. His main dilemma was figuring out what to do next. Did he have the patience and confidence to watch the Kraken dispose of the Blackrocks' remains, before pursuing the treasures of Sargeras? Or was speed the more important factor?

Last edited by BaronGrackle; 04-03-2014 at 09:37 AM..
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