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Old 12-12-2011, 05:38 PM
Dithon1 Dithon1 is offline

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Default Worst Book/Series You've Ever Read?

"Symphony of Ages", a series by Elizabeth Haydon.

My reasons for this hatred? They are many, and would result in an uberly long post. Instead, I'll just redirect you to this page here that details most of what I find wrong with it: http://canon-sues.livejournal.com/135109.html


Note: It fails to mention that Ashe (Edward Cullen if he were half-dragon) can control his own goddamned sperm. No, seriously, he can't get a girl pregnant unless he wants to.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:44 PM
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Knaak's WC novels.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:48 PM
Arakiba Arakiba is offline

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Dan Brown's series of tripe comes to mind.

I will admit I enjoyed Angels & Demons well enough. It was the first of his books that I read, so I didn't really know what to expect.

But after reading that, The da Vinci Code, Deception Point, and Digital Fortress (thankfully the last two I got from the library so I didn't waste any more money) I came to recognize the pattern he writes by.

Generally, there's either an "exotic" or highly intelligent woman who's also extremely beautiful despite her intelligence. They have to work alongside a man who is generally in his 40's, a teacher (either literally or who acts like one), and handsome (and generally is described as looking pretty much like Dan Brown himself). There's always an older man who's a mentor/father-figure of sorts. He is always the mastermind. Thankfully the handsome male protagonist saves the day in the nick of time and gets the girl, and they go off to fuck like bunnies.

I realize there are plenty of books with author inserts, formulaic plots and all, but this one just...ugh, I hate it and I hate that it took me 4 fucking books to come to the conclusion that its all masturbatory writing for Brown.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:50 PM
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Hrm. I'm assuming I can only talk about books that have been PUBLISHED.



I'm gonna get some flak for this but one of my alltime least favorite books is A Wrinkle in Time. God that was stupid, weird, poorly written and an absolute chore to slog through. It's not whimsical, magical or fantastic, it's headache inductively obtuse for the sense of being obtuse. And mind you, I fucking gobbled up Naked Lunch or the Illuminatus Trilogy.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:55 PM
Sonneillon Sonneillon is offline

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The problem is that with a bad book you generally stop reading it.

The Bible and the Koran were both pretty dry.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:56 PM
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The problem is that with a bad book you generally stop reading it.
Not when it's your job to read them like mine is.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:56 PM
HalfElfDragon HalfElfDragon is offline

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Watership Down.
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Old 12-12-2011, 05:57 PM
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Not when it's your job to read them like mine is.
I pity you good sir and feel your pain.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:00 PM
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I pity you good sir and feel your pain.
The point of my job is to make sure that terrible books don't go to print and marginally bad books become good.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:02 PM
Dithon1 Dithon1 is offline

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Originally Posted by Omacron View Post
The point of my job is to make sure that terrible books don't go to print and marginally bad books become good.
Dare I ask if you've ever come across something that you would classify as "hilariously bad?"

Literally, it was "The Room" of literature?
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Arakiba View Post
Dan Brown's series of tripe comes to mind.

I will admit I enjoyed Angels & Demons well enough. It was the first of his books that I read, so I didn't really know what to expect.

But after reading that, The da Vinci Code, Deception Point, and Digital Fortress (thankfully the last two I got from the library so I didn't waste any more money) I came to recognize the pattern he writes by.

Generally, there's either an "exotic" or highly intelligent woman who's also extremely beautiful despite her intelligence. They have to work alongside a man who is generally in his 40's, a teacher (either literally or who acts like one), and handsome (and generally is described as looking pretty much like Dan Brown himself). There's always an older man who's a mentor/father-figure of sorts. He is always the mastermind. Thankfully the handsome male protagonist saves the day in the nick of time and gets the girl, and they go off to fuck like bunnies.

I realize there are plenty of books with author inserts, formulaic plots and all, but this one just...ugh, I hate it and I hate that it took me 4 fucking books to come to the conclusion that its all masturbatory writing for Brown.
Well you know, many readers are male, and some of them are in their 40s. Many novels are based on their readers' "daydream".
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Dithon1 View Post
Dare I ask if you've ever come across something that you would classify as "hilariously bad?"

Literally, it was "The Room" of literature?
I once got an unsolicited children's novel manuscript which could basically be explained as "The hobbit meets an introduction manual to BDSM", and for some reason the writer used the word "Dale" as part of every goddamn placename. It got confusing when they were going from Highdale to Canyondale to Hoardale with bizarre dialogue that read like little billy's introduction to a Gor novel.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:13 PM
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Which element do you guys as the most important one take to judge a book? Plot? Writing? Character Development or ideological level?
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:14 PM
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The non-Frank Herbert Dune novels. Anyone who's read them will understand why, anyone who hasn't will be better served the less they know of them.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:15 PM
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Which element do you guys as the most important one take to judge a book? Plot? Writing? Character Development or ideological level?
All of the above.



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The non-Frank Herbert Dune novels. Anyone who's read them will understand why, anyone who hasn't will be better served the less they know of them.
I know you'll likely crucify my balls for saying so, but I never enjoyed that series.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:17 PM
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I know you'll likely crucify my balls for saying so, but I never enjoyed that series.
Y'know, I can get not enjoying Dune, I won't necessarily hold that against you. Mind, if you'd said you enjoyed the abominations spewed out by Frank Herbert's self-styled successors then I'd have to hunt you down and sodomize you with a rusty fork.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Omacron View Post
I once got an unsolicited children's novel manuscript which could basically be explained as "The hobbit meets an introduction manual to BDSM", and for some reason the writer used the word "Dale" as part of every goddamn placename. It got confusing when they were going from Highdale to Canyondale to Hoardale with bizarre dialogue that read like little billy's introduction to a Gor novel.
My childhood suddenly feels deprived.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:22 PM
Dithon1 Dithon1 is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Volkrin View Post
Y'know, I can get not enjoying Dune, I won't necessarily hold that against you. Mind, if you'd said you enjoyed the abominations spewed out by Frank Herbert's self-styled successors then I'd have to hunt you down and sodomize you with a rusty fork.
The strange thing is, I don't like Dune, but I LOVE the Wheel of Time.


I don't understand how the two can both be true at the same time.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:22 PM
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I don't remember the series perfectly... it was like magic rising or something like that.

It was essentially alot of heavy-handed feminism with some incestous gods and it was just really terrible in every way.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:27 PM
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Did somebody mention Dune? Squee.

Worst book series? Hm. The Artemis Fowl series comes to mind.
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It'd be nice if they actually finally gave us things they cut or under utilized 10 years ago.
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Ten.

Years.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:28 PM
Dithon1 Dithon1 is offline

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Quote:
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Did somebody mention Dune? Squee.

Worst book series? Hm. The Artemis Fowl series comes to mind.
I read one of those. It made absolutely no sense so I put it down and never picked it up again.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:36 PM
Arakiba Arakiba is offline

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowpokeking View Post
Well you know, many readers are male, and some of them are in their 40s. Many novels are based on their readers' "daydream".
True enough. Still hate them though. I haven't read Brown's latest book (nor do I intend to) but I can safely assume how it ends.

But I'd rather set fire to my money than buy any more.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:40 PM
Omacron Omacron is offline


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I liked the Artemis Fowl books.

Probably because I saw so much of myself in the main character, a young sociopath who by all rights had no reason for sympathy. I also appreciated its postmodern take on fantasy cliches which, along with the works of Pratchett was probably a big inspiration for my own hostile approach to fantasy.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Revenant View Post
Did somebody mention Dune? Squee.

Worst book series? Hm. The Artemis Fowl series comes to mind.
What's wrong with Artemis Fowl? Besides the fact that the name of the male protagonist is the same as a Greek goddess.
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Old 12-12-2011, 06:53 PM
Yuber8900 Yuber8900 is offline

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Tides of Shit.
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